Fernando Torres has revealed the depths of his depression during his goal drought at Chelsea, and says there was a point where he didn’t care whether Chelsea won or lost.
Torres struggled to adapt to life at Stamford Bridge straight away following his £50 million switch from Liverpool in 2011.
The Spaniard embarked on a 5 month goal drought which saw him fail to hit the target in over 24 hours on the pitch, while his lowest ebb came after he was dropped for Chelsea’s Champions League final win over Bayern Munich in May.
Torres has come good following the departure of rival forward Didier Drogba over the summer, and has so far claimed six goals in 12 games in all competitions so far this term.
"Halfway through last season, I distanced myself from the values I had grown up with," Torres said.
"I had team-mates who didn't care if the team won or lost because they were not playing. I never wanted to be like that. [But] one day I discovered that I was like them, that it didn't matter it we won or lost if I was not playing.
“I wasn't part of the group. I discovered that I was not happy because I had stopped being what I had always wanted to be. In the dressing room, you can never lose that group concept."
"But I learned to look at myself and to realise that the only person that can change is you. The only person who can say: 'You're making mistakes, you've got to do something' is you."
Torres also admitted to struggling to adapt to life under former Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas, who departed from Stamford Bridge in March, with his assistant Roberto di Matteo taking charge.
"I became a different player because I was serving the team," he said. "
It was to my personal detriment but it was the only way to play. At times I thought: 'I'm going to run in behind the defender, I'm going to offer myself and go into the space.' And I could go 70 minutes without touching the ball. If I played in my [natural] position, I wasn't involved in the game.
What do I do? It was so different to what I was used to with [Rafa] Benítez [at Liverpool] that I was not happy and you could tell."