Football

Goals of the Weekend: February 2-3

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Sometimes, enough goes on in football to make you think, 'just what is the point to all this?', doesn't it?

On-pitch terrier turned touch-line terrier Paul Dickov has been given the heave-ho by Oldham just a week after they had terrorised a terrible Liverpool side, while a match-fixing betting ring of such scale that Vince McMahon will likely raise an eyebrow, slap a few players in lycra and bill football as the new WWE has been discovered.

Then there is Peter Odemwingie, who embarrassed himself to such an extent that he was deemed a tad too shameless for QPR. QPR! 

Gazza's still on the sauce as well, sigh….

Anyway, while events off the pitch are enough to make you think that maybe golf isn't such a terrible sport after all (I'll save you some time; it is) then there was plenty going on to make you realise it's not all that bad.

And that's where GMF's trustworthy goals of the weekend comes in; offering you a visual pat on the bum, a ruffle of the hair, and a reassuring wink that a 30-yard whack from the right-boot of an over-paid prima donna is sometimes all you need to feel sure that the world isn't such a horrible place. Enjoy it you lucky devils, you. As always, click the links within the text to watch the goals.

Juan Mata, Newcastle 3-2 Chelsea

Every rule needs an exception which proves its existence, and Juan Mata is just that within a deliciously under-whelming Chelsea side.

The Spaniard twanged the onion-bag with a lovely curler against Newcastle, only for the sinking ship on which he is peering over the bow in the hope of spotting land before the cargo which must include Rafa Benitez's lunch order judging by the speed of it's submergence to drag them under once more.

Sergio Aguero, Manchester City 2-2 Liverpool

From an angle tighter than a t-shirt stretched across the torso of a hulking rugger-bugger down your nearest All Bar One, Sergio Aguero ensured Eddie the Eagle had some company in Pepe Reina as a balding, faded sportsman inexplicably leaping off the precipice towards his demise without any real control over what he was doing.

The Manchester City man left Reina, who had senselessly come rushing out of goal in the second-half of Liverpool's 2-2 draw with the champions at the Etihad Stadium, floundering in no man's land while he somehow curled the ball home. Lovely stuff.

Steven Gerrard, Manchester City 2-2 Liverpool

"captain fantastic is fantastic captain!" marvelled the world as Steven Gerrard mustered every inch of his inspirational spirit to fire Liverpool to victory with a brilliant goal against the big bad champions Manchester City in true Roy of the Rovers style!

Ok, so it didn't happen quite like that, but if Roy trollyed one home only for a flapping Spaniard to completely undo all his good work then I imagine it would be quite hard to sell comics. Anyway, it was a quite good goal.

Gareth Bale, West Brom 0-1 Tottenham

If ever there was a maxim by which Gareth Bale lived his life it would surely be; hurl enough crap and some of it is bound to cling on for dear life.

With his 6,000th shot of the game, Bale helped Tottenham to victory over 10-man West Brom. It's one way of dealing with a complete lack of strikers, I suppose.

Frank Lampard, Newcastle 3-2 Chelsea

Good ol' Frank Lampard. He'll never let you down. No matter what he'll act with dignity and class, and be the emblem of Chelsea that they hardly deserve.

What's that? I'm sorry……what? They're getting rid of him at the end of the season? Oh for…. 

Anyway there's life in the old dog yet after showcased his ability to the very best China or America has to offer with a ruddy good goal against Newcastle.

Topics:
Football
Premier League
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