It's not often we celebrate a 7-year-old's birthday here at GMF, but this time we thought we'd make an exception, even without the prospect of a party bag and jelly and ice cream at the end.
It is of course Twitter's 7th birthday today and aside from making the world a smaller, nastier, troll-ridden, horrible place, the social media site has plenty to answer for.
Footballer's take to the site with the aim of bringing themselves closer to their fans (or send naked pictures to girls, whatever…) but instead they invariably find themselves arguing and bickering with members of the public or getting into hot water with their clubs.
So, drawing a tenuous line between the anniversary of a social media site and the fact this is a football website we thought the best thing to do is put together a list of the funniest/most-awkward football-based moments in the site's history. Genius eh?
Owen recently utilised Twitter and social media to draw attention to the fact he will retire from football at the end of the season - which, somewhat predictably, drew the response "wait, you haven't already?".
Sadly for dear old Michael he had the chance to learn about the very nature of Twitter a few weeks earlier; namely that it can come back to bite you in the behind. He didn't heed the warning.
On March 3, James Talbot (@JT1zzle) asked the - some would say perfectly valid - question: "do you play football?". Cue plenty of guffaws amongst his chums.
He didn't count upon Owen replying to his tweet however, and the former England striker shot back with: "Not much nowadays but I shook the World in my day. What have you done in life?"
Sadly for Owen and his 1.9 million followers that wasn't the final word in the conversation as his would-be abuser came straight back, and by jingo he came back swinging.
"In answer to what I have done, served and protected your country in the army, 6 years of physical work without injury," he wrote.
Hashtags are a staple of Twitter life. For those who don't know, the use of a hashtag allows people to contextualise their message, a bit like this: #worstfeatureideaever.
Some people like to attach #justsaying to their pithy remarks for reasons I'm not entirely sure of while others such as striker Steven Fletcher like to use #headsgone when handing in a transfer request.
But the greatest use of a hashtag has to have come from Ashley Cole, who succinctly summed up his feelings towards the FA after they accused him of lying while giving evidence in the John Terry/Anton Ferdinand case.
"Hahahahaa, well done #fa I lied did I, #BUNCHOFTWATS" he screeched before deleting the message.
A bunch of twats indeed Ashley. That message cost him a £90,000 fine, and when he heard he must have #almostswervedofftheroad.
That's Ghana cause a stir, Carlton
Never the brightest spark, West Ham forward Carlton Cole landed himself in hot water in 2011 as he posted a few of his more insightful observations.
Cole tweeted numerous remarks during England's 1-1 draw in their friendly match against Ghana, the most inappropriate of which being, in no particular order:
'Immigration has surrounded the wembley premises! I knew it was a trap! Hahahaha'
'The only way to get out safely is to wear an England jersey and paint your face w/ the St. George's'flag!'
The FA then tweeted back: "@carlton9cole WTF bro?! That'll be 20 grand for us thank you! #megalolz"
What a wicked Webb we weave
2011 was evidently the year that idiotic footballers finally took over the world, and Ryan Babel announced his ascendancy to the throne as king of the idiots when he posted a picture of Howard Webb wearing a photoshopped Manchester United kit in response to the referee's performance in Liverpool’s 1-0 FA Cup defeat at Old Trafford.
Babel did at least make history by becoming the first player to be fined for comments made on Twitter. That's at least something to tell the kids, I suppose.
On an Odemwingie and a prayer
How long have you got? Have you get to be anywhere in the next, I don't know, three or four hours? Because trying to list the gaffes made by Odemwingie on Twitter could take a fair old while.
The Nigerian striker used the social media site to keep his followers up to date with his attempts to manoeuvre his way out of West Brom during the January transfer window, which as we all know ended with him pawing at QPR's door while stranded outside in the car park.
After a hefty wrist-slap and demotion to to the bench the Baggies probably thought the issue was over. Someone forgot to take Odemwingie's phone off him, evidently.
"Keeping me on the bench now is worst [sic] than what they did on the 31st," he wrote last week.
He continued: "If they like they shouldn't even give me 10 mins to play. Threatening to ruin my career? Career I closed already last summer? No harm to me.
"Want to treat me like an average player. The abuse and praise I get is it average? So get some extra from me too."
He also hinted that he had taken steroid injections to be fit for matches and said his team-mates were unhappy with his salary.
The 31-year-old was fined £76,000 - his second two-weeks wages fine - just three days ago while West Brom chairman described him as 'unprofessional". Can't see why he would say that.