Gather round boys and girls, it's time for your very first lesson in transfer market etiquette.
Are you sitting comfortably? Right let's begin. Much like Fight Club, the first rule of transfer business is not to talk about transfer business.
Once, while still manager of West Ham, Harry Redknapp was asked about the prospect of taking Rangers' striker Marco Negri on loan.
"Negri? Who? No, don't know what you are talking about." Unfortunately for Redknapp he had just pulled up outside in his car to complete his move.
"Oh," Redknapp says. "Oh, that Marco Negri." That's who tight-lipped and in-denial you have to be.
The second rule is; the deal aint done 'til it's done.
Sadly it seems as though Tottenham have just learnt this lesson the hard way.
No sooner had they got Brazil star Willian chasing a chicken around a coup and beating a side of beef did Chelsea steal him from under their noses, with their deal expected to be concluded soon.
Never mind Spurs, tally ho, life goes on etc etc. It has happened to the best and will happen again - so how about we ease the north London club's pain by looking at the best hijacked deals in history?