Everyone loves a high-scoring game, apart from maybe goalkeepers. But even they must enjoy watching them.
Because when you boil it down - and you're tired of extolling the virtues of a particularly cagey 0-0 draw which you only pretend to enjoy to make you sound sophisticated - football is about goals.
It's what everyone pays to see, it's why everyone watches. A particularly robust defensive display is all well and good, but a game with eight goals in (or nine, or ten, etc) is a particularly enjoyable occasion.
But what about when just one team scores all the goals? What about a classic men-versus-boys drubbing? If you're on the losing side it's a nightmare. If you inflict the thrashing, it's brilliant.
If you're a neutral and you look at the results and see a 7-0 in there, you're interested.
England's women inflicted a particularly brutal 8-0 schooling on Turkey on Thursday night in a World Cup 2015 qualifier. It's the kind of score that catches you're eye. You see an 8-0 and you want to know what happened. How could a professional team lose by eight goals?
But it doesn't happen that often. A really massive thrashing is a rare and wonderful thing. So often the carnage stops at 4-0, or 5-0. The winning team takes their foot off the gas and just cruises to the final whistle.
If only it wasn't so. If only it wasn't always 'we could have scored 10' but 'we did score 10'. Here are five occasions from the Premier League when that was almost the case. The biggest and best thrashings form down the years.
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