Football

Arsenal: Title triumph not just a win for football

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Arsenal's ascension to the summit of the Premier League table is not only a victory for football purity and careful financial management, but also a triumph for metrosexuality.

After an initial blip on the season's opening day, the Gunners have been in flowing form ever since, with Arsene Wenger's side recording victories in all but one of their games and, with it, earning their place at the top of the tree.

The credit for this, of course, goes to the club's enduring manager for cultivating a squad capable of challenging for top honours once more, but Wenger also deserves praise for assembling a side so pleasing on the eye.

Arsenal in their pomp are wonderful to watch, with a slick passing style matched by no other in this country, but Wenger's team now to manage to be mesmerising even in the most drab affairs, given how many breathtakingly attractive players they have at their disposal.

Not since the Real Madrid side boasting David Beckham, Guti, Fabio Cannavaro and Sergio Ramos won La Liga in 2006-07 has there been a more alluring group of players at a prominent European club, and Arsenal are now primed to meet similar heights.

Arsenal's transformation in fortunes can be almost directly linked to Olivier Giroud's change in hairstyle, with the Frenchman's barnet now so strikingly perfect it is little wonder Michael Dawson allowed him to drift to the near post to score in the north London derby.

Giroud is the poster boy for English football's new generation of Spice Boys, and the pride the Frenchman takes in his appearance serves as a lesson to other leading strikers in the division.

The 27-year-old has demonstrated that metrosexual habits need not be abandoned in the pursuit of success, and his ability to maintain such impeccable levels of grooming, along with an impressive record of scoring, outlines him as far superior to the likes of Robin van Persie and Luis Suarez.

Sure, Suarez is one of the best natural goalscorers the Premier League has ever seen - but could he hold your attention for the duration of an evening at a fancy restaurant? One thinks not. Giroud would enchant you, regardless of what he was saying - Suarez wouldn't even get a table.

Giroud, of course, is not alone at Arsenal when it comes to players chiseled by the gods, with Mikel Arteta's looks so achingly consistent, one wonders if the Spaniard has become frozen in time.

Have you ever taken time to look at Arteta's hair? It resembles a helmet of pure black satin, impenetrable to the elements and unmoved by even the most robust of rufflings. And then, of course, there are his eyes - dark and mysterious like the caves of San Sebastián, where he was born.

On the subject of eyes, what about Mesut Özil? Like a cross between Cillian Murphy and a doped-up Mr Burns, the German has a stare so captivating it could descend even Roy Keane into a lovestruck mess.

Bewitching features are not for everyone, of course, and Arsenal possess the versatility in their ranks to appeal to a wider audience, with fans of carefully crafted sideburns placated by Theo Walcott, and those with TOWIE sensibilities contented by the appearance of Carl Jenkinson.

Like bad boys? Look no further than Jack Wilshere. A fan of the taller gent? Per Mertesacker at your service. Beards and top-knots are your thing? Nicklas Bendtner is just the answer.

Never before have Arsenal ever had a more rounded team in the looks department, and perhaps never will they again. One can now only hope they go all the way this season, to prove that half an hour in front of a mirror is never half an hour wasted.

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Topics:
Football
Premier League
Arsenal

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