Every transfer is a 'sensational raid'
The January Transfer window is the time of quick-fixes.
Clubs who have had troubling results in the first part of the season desperately scramble around to make some new signings to improve their squads. The excitement in the media and fans is palpable as numerous links emerge.
Keeping that in mind, it is mandatory to describe every transfer as a sensational raid.
According to the dictionary a raid is ‘a rapid surprise attack on an enemy by troops, aircraft, or other armed forces’ or ‘a rapid surprise attack to commit a crime, especially to steal from business premises’ or ‘a surprise visit by police to arrest suspects or seize illicit goods’.
We are not really sure how football clubs do the raiding, but you can imagine Vincent Tan showing up at a rival club to 'raid' for a player.
Also, football players stop being described as ‘good’ or ‘great’. Instead the parameters used are:
'Top, top, top player': Footballer is really great.
'Top, top player': Footballer is very good.
'Top player': Decent footballer
And this might not be the end of it.
There will be 'top, top, top' excitement as the transfer window goes on. The excitement will reach a crescendo of 'tops' on transfer deadline day when we have a reporter posted outside every club and every airport around the UK to look-out for all the comings and goings.