Do not adjust your screen when you read what I am about to tell you. Make sure your feet are firmly on the floor, and you don't feel light-headed. Ready?
Luke Shaw could be on his way to Manchester United. For the princely sum of £34 million. Yes, that's right, not pence, or Yen, but pounds. 34 million of the Queen's pounds.
Manchester United have had a bit of a nightmare in recent transfer windows, so we can only put this down to a sort of crisis of confidence. That's not to say that Shaw isn't any good, or won't be worth that much one day, but to put that fee into perspective he's about to become the most expensive teenage footballer of all time.
Now it's not my business to tell Louis van Gaal how to go about his business (lord knows he wouldn't listen anyway, the pig-headed little so and so...) but it's pretty easy to think of a whole host of players they could buy for that sum that could vastly improve their team - something they desperately need to do for next season.
Fear not Red Devils fans though, because we are here to offer Louis and Ed a bit of advice for free (we should probably charge them, who knows how much they'll pay...) about a few eminently more sensible ways they can spend that chunk of change burning a hole in their pockets.
Click 'Begin Slideshow' below to check out the five things Manchester United could buy for the £34 million they are offering for Luke Shaw!