For those who like to feel outraged by the arbitrary rating system enforced in a digital world then there was plenty of reasons to feel a bit miffed this weekend.
Yep, that's right, that poster child of obsolescence, the FIFA video game franchise, have released a list of it's top ranking players and Gareth Bale - the most expensive player in the world if you didn't know - isn't in the top ten in the latest incarnation, the imaginatively titled FIFA 15.
What is going on, I hear you splutter. This is outrageous, you add. I couldn't care less, some say. Well if you're in the latter camp instead of reading on t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶e̶w̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶u̶t̶e̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶u̶n̶t̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶l̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶p̶i̶c̶t̶u̶r̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶K̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶U̶p̶t̶o̶n̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶J̶e̶n̶n̶i̶f̶e̶r̶ ̶L̶a̶w̶r̶e̶n̶c̶e̶ have a nap. For those interested, we're going to try and put this issue to bed once for all; is Gareth Bale the third best footballer in the world?
Of course he can't compete with Lionel Messi (and to a lesser extent Cristiano Ronaldo) for reasons this mighty fine article explains better than I ever could, but that coveted, glorious "third best" crown is up for grabs and some of the finest players in the world are scrabbling around like toddlers grappling for their turn on the loom band loom (no, I don't get that reference either) for it.
The issue is so subjective that it's probably not worth writing this article. But, try explaining that to an editor who wants a thousand words on the issue (fyi, sorry for the padding about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre later on). Trust me, it's not worth the hassle. So here we are.
In order to make this worthwhile, we've taken key stats from six players claiming to be the third best, compared them side by side and crowned an overall winner based on who scored the lowest overall mark in the five categories. A point is awarded for finishing first, and five for finishing fifth. Got it? If you haven't, t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶e̶w̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶u̶t̶e̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶u̶n̶t̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶l̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶p̶i̶c̶t̶u̶r̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶K̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶U̶p̶t̶o̶n̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶J̶e̶n̶n̶i̶f̶e̶r̶ ̶L̶a̶w̶r̶e̶n̶c̶e̶ have a nap.
For the rest of you, click below to get started.