It is Christmas time and a world-class striker is atop the list of many Liverpool fans. Stopping the flow of gift-wrapped goals they're giving away may help as well.
The bad defending is nothing new under Brendan Rodgers, who has always favoured attacking football over a solid back line. Last season the mistakes were neutralised by the potent SAS strikeforce of Daniel Sturridge and Luis Suarez.
With the former gone and the latter constantly injured, Liverpool have had to make do with Mario Balotelli, Rickie Lambert and Fabio Borini; hardly the 20-goal strikers they need to inspire them into the top four once again.
Band Aid inspiration
So with Christmas around the corner, one group of fans have tried to tap into John W Henry's holiday spirit, hoping to inspire him into giving Rodgers the money he needs to really replace Suarez.
Taking inspiration from Bob Geldof and his merry band of pop stars, who have tried their darndest to drum up enough cash to stop the humanitarian crisis that is the ebola virus epidemic in west Africa by rehashing the iconic Band Aid song, Liverpool have tried to remind the world that they themselves are dealing with issues at Christmas time.
Make your choice
So now you, the reader, are faced with a choice. You can buy the single–we recommend donating directly to the Disasters Emergency Committee HERE–or you can enclose a cheque to Liverpool FC and boost their attempts to 'sign a Worldie' this January.
If you manage to sit through the parody version 'Dan Aid' in its entirety we think Liverpool should be the ones paying you, such is the heroic effort of human endurance you would have achieved. Let us know if you manage it; none of us have.