Manchester United fans, hola, bonjour, hallo.
Welcome to today’s round-up, we hope it delivers all you were expecting and more.
One thing we can promise is that you’ll leave this page far more clued up on the latest gossip and news doing the rounds than you were when you arrived. Without further ado, we give to you…
Depay weight gain
Memphis Depay’s been in the spotlight at Manchester United for the wrong reasons of late and his new admission is sure to spark some amount of controversy.
The young winger has revealed - as relayed by Goal - that he’s gained 5 kilos since signing for the club, but, before fans start to get concerned, it’s all muscle.
"Since I’ve played for Manchester United, I gained 5 kilos. And that's not fat! Just muscle. It's bizarre,” Depay said.
"It's also have to do with the heavy schedule in England. Now I weigh 85 kg. When I stood on the scales first I thought: 'OK, is this correct?' My body is still developing. Now I'm a little more heavy, I have to work on that. I'm working a lot on my coordination and starting speed.
"I get to eat very well at home. It's cooked for me. I've got an own cook. It's all arranged very well over there. I doing those things. Because no, that's not offered for free.
"People don't know what I have to do to be fit and be a part of the national team. The work I do, what's part of my profession. Perhaps there's a picture of me that I'm not thinking about that, but that's nonsense.”
That’s right, the 21-year-old who, let’s be honest, was a bit of a tank anyway, said that he had bulked up at Old Trafford but is still working on his coordination and starting speed.
Meanwhile, Antonio Valencia has looked to update fans on his injury status, tweeting a picture after his recent operation.
The Ecuadorian is facing a lengthy spell on the sidelines after picking up a foot injury but confirmed his procedure had gone well.
He tweeted the picture from his hospital bed, so it’s onwards and upwards from here.
Let's remember what United might be missing while he's away:
Lingard won't get new contract soon
And to finish, reports from this morning are claiming that United youngster Jesse Lingard has been told to forget about being handed a new contract in the near future.
The Daily Star’s chief sports writer, one Jeremy Cross, claims the 22-year-old is going to have to wait before he’s offered terms on his current £8,000-a-week deal.
The source of the issue is that Louis van Gaal doesn’t want to hand the starlet too much too soon, not that he doesn’t see him as part of his future plans.