It was reported last week by The Sun that Jose Mourinho would make Wesley Sneijder - yes, really - his first signing as Manchester United manager if he replaces Louis van Gaal before the transfer window re-opens in January.
This seems ludicrous for so many reasons that we can’t list them all here. It’s safe to assume there’s virtually no chance of that particular deal ever happening.
But we’ve compiled a list of six - far more realistic - players that Mourinho may wish to sign if he takes the reins at Old Trafford over the coming weeks. (Scroll down this page to see the shortlist).
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Mourinho would have plenty of money to spend in both the forthcoming transfer window and next summer to bolster the Red Devils’ squad, which is currently threadbare after Van Gaal decided it’d be a smart idea to sell a host of decent squad players.
Let’s hope the Portuguese coach, if he arrives, will finally drum it into Ed Woodward’s head that Neymar isn’t coming to Old Trafford.
Chelsea have been linked with Antoine Griezmann over the past few months so it’s safe to assume that Mourinho has been keeping tabs on the Atletico Madrid star.
The France international, 24, has been one of the best players in La Liga over the past few seasons and may feel the time is right to leave the Vicente Calderon in 2016.
The mere idea of a front-three comprised of Griezmann, Anthony Martial and - provided he gets his act together - Memphis Depay would be enough to leave United fans salivating right now.
Jose Mourinho is a huge fan of Raphael Varane. So much so, in fact, that in March 2014 he named the Real Madrid centre-back as the best young central defender in the world.
It was Mourinho who signed the France international from Lens during his three-year spell as manager of Real Madrid.
The 22-year-old is now widely regarded as one of the best - if not the best - central defenders on the planet.
It’s not certain but it’s possible Mourinho would still be the manager of Chelsea had the Blues signed John Stones from Everton in the summer.
Jose was desperate to bring the 21-year-old to Stamford Bridge but Chelsea officials, despite submitting three huge bids, failed to tempt the Toffees into selling their best young defender.
Manchester United, though, may give the green light for Mourinho to smash the world record for a defender in order to sign the centre-back who has been compared to former Old Trafford star Rio Ferdinand.
Ross Barkley is another Everton player who has been on the radar of Mourinho for some time now.
The England international, whose playing style is not dissimilar to that of Paul Gascoigne, is in the form of his life and has the potential to become one of the best players in the Premier League.
Barkley would inject some much-needed quality to United’s central midfield - although, like Stones, he would cost a fortune.
Manchester United need another striker after Van Gaal offloaded Radamel Falcao, Robin van Persie and Javier Hernandez in the summer.
Anthony Martial is a huge talent but is still just 20 years old while Wayne Rooney is coming to the end of his career as a top-level footballer.
If Mourinho wants a ready-made striker for the second half of this season then Jackson Martinez wouldn’t be a bad option. Atletico Madrid are open to offers for the Colombia international - per the Independent - after an unconvincing start to life at the Vicente Calderon and United could secure his services, even if it’s for the short term, for a relatively cheap price.
It seems a mere matter of time before Paul Pogba joins one of the world’s biggest clubs following his spell with Italian giants Juventus.
The France international is wanted by all the top managers of world football, including Mourinho.
Pogba might feel more comfortable with the idea of returning to Old Trafford if Mourinho replaces Van Gaal in the hot-seat, but there’s a good chance either Barcelona or Real Madrid would be his preferred next destination.
Which players should Jose Mourinho sign if he becomes Manchester United manager? Have your say by leaving a comment below.