Right, you're about to read something so funny you may actually pass out. So sit down and make yourself comfortable so that you don't fall and bash your head.
Here we go. Mario Balotelli reckons he can still win the Ballon d'Or one day. Seriously.
To be fair to old Mad Mario, he no doubt possesses enough talent to be one of the world's best. On his day, the striker is almost impossible to stop - as demonstrated almost four years ago to the day when he helped Italy stun Germany in the semi-finals of Euro 2012.
However his career is on a serious downwards trajectory after his peak at Inter Milan and Manchester City, to the point where AC Milan, who took him on loan from Liverpool, have decided not to make his move permanent.
Still, you can't fault his optimism, no matter how misplaced that may be. Speaking to Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera, the 25-year-old insists his recent poor form is just a blip and that he'll be back on top of the world before long.
"In my view there weren't enough [expectations put on me], as I can do so much more than what I said. But it takes time," he said.
"On the scale of 0 to 10, I stopped at five, but I'll get to 10 eventually. I want to get there. I will win the Ballon d'Or.
"I do realise that I've spent two years of my career when I could've been getting closer to 10 and instead stayed at five. I know, the Ballon d'Or might seem laughable and I might not have done everything to be the best, but the important thing is I realised it's not too late."
Balotelli has scored just seven goals across all competitions in the last two years and faces an uncertain future on Merseyside. The former Inter Milan ace says he hopes to return to Liverpool, but the likelihood is that boss Jurgen Klopp will try to sell him on. In the same interview he also aimed a swipe at former Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers.
“I hope to play at Liverpool next season,” he explained. “Milan decided to leave me. There will certainly not be another Mario’s back again moment there.
“I had a fantastic rapport with everyone, including the Presidents, Massimo Moratti and Silvio Berlusconi,” Balotelli said. “It was disastrous only with one… Brendan Rodgers.