Newcastle midfielder Danny Guthrie admits he has only himself to blame for being unable to help in his club's hour of need.
The 21-year-old, a £2.5million summer signing from Liverpool, has missed the last three games through suspension after being sent off for kicking out at Hull's Craig Fagan last month.
"The last couple of weeks, I have been a bit down, but I can only blame myself for that," he said.
Guthrie could only look on as the Magpies, shattered by Kevin Keegan's resignation as manager and the subsequent unheaval it sparked, as well as an ongoing injury crisis, have lurched from one disaster to another.
However, he will be back in the squad on Sunday as interim boss Joe Kinnear attempts to dispel the doom and gloom hanging over St James' Park by ending a run of five consecutive defeats at Everton.
Having made his apologies to Fagan, whose leg was broken in the incident, Guthrie is hoping for a chance to make amends for his rush of blood against Hull by playing his part in a recovery.
"I have spoken to Craig Fagan and apologised, and he was sound about it. He said I should't have done it, but that's football," he added.
"I said I was sorry about what happened and he was fine about it. It is good to be back. It was quite lucky really as it came over an eight-day period due to the Carling Cup game.
"It was a long wait and it has been good to be back. It has been frustrating for me after doing something so silly.
"You pay the price for not playing and then everything else has happened around me with the manager coming in. I'm glad it is over and now I just want to concentrate on playing football."
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