Remember the last Premier League season? Well, forget it. Time to move on from Leicester City's heroic triumph and concentrate on the campaign ahead.
While plenty of punters will be rushing to the bookies to predict the title winners, the relegation candidates and the top scorer, we can't help but feel that, after last season, there is simply no point trying to predict what will happen over the next nine months.
As Sky Sports and BT Sport like to remind us in every single pumped-up promo, England's elite division is probably even more unpredictable than the weather.
So in recognition of that fact, we've decided to come up with, let's say, alternative projections.
Take a look at ten things we think will happen at some point this season:
Zlatan Ibrahimovic will be named on the bench but refuse to sit on it
Zlatan Ibrahimovic had everything his own way at Paris Saint-Germain and rightly so. The charismatic Swede was head and shoulders above everyone else – literally and in football terms – in Ligue 1.
That won't be the case at Old Trafford where he will have to compete with Marcus Rashford and Wayne Rooney for a place up front. Although he is likely to start most games, there will come a time where Jose Mourinho changes his tactics.
How will Ibrahimovic react to sitting on the bench? Well, we imagine it will be something like this...
West Ham's club shop will sense an opportunity to make a fortune by selling branded binoculars
West Ham fans will enjoy the spoils of everyone's hard earned cash when they sit in their super cheap seats at the converted Olympic Stadium.
However, it isn't all good news for the Hammers, as the fans located in the upper tier will soon find out. Thanks to the athletics track, they are miles away from the action. Luckily, West Ham will soon start selling some quality binoculars so they won't miss a moment.
Liverpool will win at least one game by more than five goals but lose several by the same margin
You have to go back quite a while to find a time when Liverpool fans were this excited. Jurgen Klopp really has got something going at Anfield and an active summer will see a new-look squad take to the field.
However, Klopp has ten months under his belt in which time Liverpool have really impressed but also done the complete opposite. Sure, they may have knocked Manchester United and Borussia Dortmund out of the Europa League and smashed Southampton 6-0, but they also turned in some pretty dismal performances.
We expect Liverpool to do exactly the same this season.
Paul Pogba will shave the Adidas logo into his hair in a shameless marketing ploy – and we'll all love it
Manchester United utilised their partnership with Stormzy and Adidas to announce the arrival of Paul Pogba from Juventus. While Red Devils fans lapped it up, the rest of the world cringed as football took another step towards total commercialisation.
Adidas are likely to be huge beneficiaries of the deal and will surely use Pogba's hair to give their famous logo even more media coverage on the Old Trafford pitch.
Jose Mourinho will have 'nothing to say' after losing to Pep Guardiola's Manchester City
The renewal of Jose Mourinho's rivalry with Pep Guardiola has got football fans in Manchester frothing at the mouth.
As we know, Mourinho loves to talk when things are going his way and quite literally has 'nothing to say' when they aren't. With Guardiola's record over Mourinho standing at five wins, four draws and two losses, we reckon the Special One will pull out a classic press conference line after United suffer defeat on 10 September.
Harry Kane will take 0 corners for Tottenham Hotspur
Roy Hodgson's legacy as England manager will be tarnished by terrible performances at both the World Cup in Brazil and this summer's European Championships. Their embarrassing exit to Iceland caused national outrage but his decision to put Harry Kane on corners will surely live longer in the memory.
The Tottenham striker is renowned for his ability to head the ball but was given the duty of taking set-pieces in England's opening games against Russia and Wales. His efforts were awful and we doubt he'll be making his way to the corner flag anytime soon.
Jack Wilshere will be out for five months after suffering what Arsene Wenger describes as a 'slight knock'
Will this be the year that Jack Wilshere finally rids himself of his injury issues and reaches his enormous potential? Probably not. As we speak the midfielder is recovering from what Arsene Wenger described as a "patella problem". He was supposed to be fit to play in their friendly game against Manchester City last weekend, but he wasn't.
Bad signs for the much-maligned midfielder, who we believe will once again struggle to keep fit throughout the course of the campaign.
At least one Chelsea player will emerge from a 'one-to-one' with Antonio Conte with a black eye
Chelsea players were warned that Antonio Conte was a feisty character, and at least one of them is likely to be on the receiving end of a classic Conte kiss. The Italian has already lost his voice once since arriving in west London because of all the abuse he's been throwing at his new stars. When they lose to, say, Sunderland away, those shouts will only grow louder.
Arsenal will finish fourth and Arsene Wenger will be rewarded with a three-year contract
Arsene Wenger enters the final year of his contract with Arsenal and the Frenchman has been coy when asked if he will extend it. Last season's failure to win the Premier League title converted even the hardiest of pro-Wenger fans and many believe another season of mediocrity should seal his fate.
But the Arsenal board's unwavering support for their manager will see him offered extended terms after a late dash to overtake Tottenham and finish fourth. Just for good measure, let's throw in a Champions League second round appearance and perhaps a League Cup final. They'll lose both.
Middlesbrough will win the Premier League title
Leicester were 5,000/1. Middlesbrough are 1,500/1. That means it will definitely happen.