Zlatan Ibrahimovic has made a sensational start to life at Manchester United, scoring the winner in the Community Shield and adding another four goals in the Premier League.
Jose Mourinho couldn’t have wished for more from his Swedish superstar. He leads the league’s scoring chart and looks ready to lead United’s title charge.
Considering he didn’t cost the Red Devils a penny to sign, Ibrahimovic could turn out to be the biggest bargain of the summer.
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However, ex-Republic of Ireland international Eamon Dunphy sees an entirely different Ibrahimovic to the one we do. He claims that Ibrahimovic looked “overweight” in Saturday’s Manchester derby and that he “won’t be in the team at Christmas”.
No, we don’t quite understand, either.
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"Mourinho may have lost the plot permanently,” Dunphy said, per the Irish Independent. “He bought this guy Ibrahimovic who scored a goal Saturday when the new wonderful goalkeeper dropped the ball at his feet.
"Ibrahimovic won't be in the team at Christmas. Not in the big games.
"He might knock over little teams like he's been doing but he's not a big game player. He looked overweight and tired after 20 minutes.”
Ibrahimovic became the first player to score in the Manchester derby, El Clasico, Milan derby, Le Classique and Der Klassieker. Not a big game player? Dunphy might want to reassess that claim.
Paul Pogba was next
His stunning rant didn’t stop at the 34-year-old, though. He also had Paul Pogba, United’s £89 million signing, in his sights.
“Everybody he bought in the summer is questionable," Dunphy continued. “Pogba... if you paid £50m you'd think 'Wow, we've made a move here' but for £100m. He's nothing.
"He just doesn't have a position you can play him in. He's never done it and I think the harsh assessment of that is that Alex Ferguson was right to let him go because he saw, what I think I have always seen... this guy doesn't have a game.
“There's no way you can play him, he does nothing well enough. He doesn't have a football brain and takes up the wrong positions all the time. I don't see anything in him and I think he's going to be a spectacular failure."
Then, Wayne Rooney
Are you done, Eamon?
“Wayne Rooney… ended the game with his socks around his ankles which is always a bad sign. He is a shadow of the player he was.”
We’ll take that as a no.