Football

Fan creates brilliant 26-tweet thread about England’s ‘banter era’

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Arsenal are not the only team currently years into a seemingly never-ending ‘banter era’.

Although the Gunners obviously set the benchmark - as THIS brilliant 28-tweet thread shows - the England national team run them mighty close.

It feels like England’s banter era has been going on since 1966, with only a few notable highlights between then and now.

The closest the Three Lions have come to winning a major tournament since lifting the World Cup 51 years ago was in 1990 when they knocked out in the World Cup semi-finals by Germany, and Euro 1996 when they were knocked out in the semi-finals by, yep, Germany again.

Full credit must go to England’s long-suffering fans, who turn out in force for each and every one of their national team’s matches, whether it’s a game at a major international tournament, a qualifier or a friendly.

Fan's 26-tweet account of England's 'banter era'

But they’ve had a heck of a lot to put up with over the years.

One fan - @mattgibson27 on Twitter - has created a brilliant thread about England’s ‘banter era’ from 2002 to the present day - and there’s some absolute gold in there.

It’s a 26-tweet thread, so you might want to make yourselves a brew first.

Here we go…

1. ‘2002, England keeper David Seaman is beaten from 50 yards by a Ronaldinho free kick. England are knocked out 2-1.’

2. ‘2004, England play France in the opening game. Beckham misses a penalty but still lead 1-0 at 90 mins’

3. ‘Zidane scores in the 91st and 93rd minute. England lose 2-1. Gerrard basically gets an assist for the penalty.’

4. ‘England lose to Portugal on penalties. Ricardo inexplicably takes off his gloves to save a Darius Vassell penalty before scoring the winner’

5. ‘After the tournament, England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson is found to be having an [redacted] with FA employee Faria Alam’

6. ‘She resigns from her role and goes on Celebrity Big Brother two years later. She gets evicted in the second week.’

7. ‘2005, England lose 1-0 to Northern Ireland with David Healy scoring the winner’

8. ‘2006, 16 y-o Theo Walcott makes the World Cup squad despite only playing 13 professional games. He doesn't play.’

9. ‘England face Portugal again and draw 0-0. Rooney gets sent off for stamping on Carvalho's bollocks. The game goes to penalties…’

10. ‘Then Jamie Carragher (a player with -4 PL goals) is brought on in the 119th minute to take a pen. He misses.’

11. ‘2007, David Nugent scores on his only England cap, a qualifier against Andorra. He basically steals Jermain Defoe's goal.’

12. ’S/O to other one cap wonders, including Martin Kelly, Jay Bothroyd (from a championship club) and 33 y-o Kevin Davies’

13. ‘2008, England fail to qualify. Lowlights include a 0-0 with Macedonia and a 2-0 loos to Croatia. Paul Robinson forgets how to kick a ball.’

14. ‘Then of course the fateful day at Wembley. Scott Carson makes two mistakes. England lose 3-2. It rains. McClaren has an umbrella.’

15. ‘2010, John Terry is removed as captain for [redacted[ Wayne Bridge's [redacted]. Rio Ferdinand is made captain for the world cup’

16. ‘After a season in which he scores 3 goals, Heskey makes the cut. He then injures Rio, causing the new captain to miss the tournament’

17. ‘The entire 2010 group stage is a shambles. Rob Green continues UK-US relations by gifting America a goal’

18. ‘Then England draw with Algeria 0-0. A game so boring the camera showed a pigeon for most of the match.’

19. ‘27th June 2010, Upson scores with his face. Neuer gets an assist. Lampard 'scores' a goal. "It would've been 2-2 at the half though!”’

20. ‘2012, Capello resigns, everyone is sure Redknapp will get the job but Roy Hodgson, Liverpool's worst ever manager gets the job’

21. ‘England lose on penalties again. Andrea Pirlo puts Joe Hart on his arse with a panenka’

22. ‘2014, England are drawn in a group with Uruguay, Costa Rica and Italy. England come bottom. Hodgson gets a contract extension.’

23. ‘2016, Joe Hart tries his best to gift Wales a result. England rest their players for the final game against Slovakia and come second.’

24. ‘The country rejoices as Iceland score a 94th minute goal which means England will face the lowly ranked nation’

25. ‘27th June 2016, (exactly 6 years after losing 4-1 to Germany) England record their worst ever result in a tournament. Kane takes corners.’

26. ‘Big Sam takes the job only to leave 67 days and 1 game later after a bunch of journalist record him being, well, Big Sam’

There's probably more banter to come

Phew.

What a journey it’s been.

And it’s safe to assume good old reliable England will provide us all with many more lols over the coming years.

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Topics:
League Two
Championship
Football
League One
Joe Hart
Frank Lampard

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