Kieron Dyer has been very busy over the past couple of days writing for the Daily Mail and revealing some incredible stories from his football career.
From his infamous brawl with then-teammate Lee Bowyer at Newcastle United to watching Paul Scholes' brilliance in England training, the former winger really has seen it all.
Dyer's longest stint at a club was for the Magpies - he joined in 1999 and spent eight years at St James' Park - so, naturally, most of his tales are based on his time there.
His latest anecdote describes Newcastle's manager at the time, Graeme Souness, actually trying to knock out his own player, Craig Bellamy, in the dressing room in 2004.
Bellamy did something to royally p*** off the Liverpool legend, who completely lost his cool and had to be restrained by Alan Shearer no less. Take it away, Kieron.
"We had played Charlton and he (Souness) had substituted Craig Bellamy," Dyer recalled. "The TV cameras caught Craig muttering 'f****** p****' in his direction as he walked off. Souness didn't see or hear it, but when he was shown footage, he was livid.
"There had also been stories about an altercation between Craig and Nicky Butt before the England-Wales game a week or so earlier. Souness wasn't happy about that, either. He called a meeting.
"'When I was on the outside, looking at this football club,' Souness said, 'I saw a very talented team, but people who are out of control and think they are above the law. Let's take a typical week since I have been Newcastle manager.'
"He looked at me. 'I have just been to the police station with this little p****,' he said. 'It's probably normal for him to be back and forth to the police station all the time, but it's not normal for me.'
"Then he moved on to Craig and Butty. He had heard about their altercation and that Butty had threatened to beat the s*** out of Craig. 'I wish he had beaten the s*** out of you,' Souness said.
"Craig had been warned by Dean Saunders, Souey's assistant, not to answer back, but it wasn't in Craig's make-up to keep quiet. He started protesting that there hadn't been any argument.
"'See, this is the problem,' Souness said. I could see he was about to go. He mentioned a few of the trophies he had won and some of the clubs he had played for.
"'And then someone like you calls me a f****** p****,' he said to Craig. 'I'll f****** knock you out.' He tried to grab Craig by the throat. 'In the gym now,' he said. 'Let's sort this out like men.'
"Alan Shearer had to pull Souness off him. That was the first time in my life I've seen Bellers completely speechless. They never made it to the gym, but it knocked the stuffing out of Craig. Souness had put down a marker."
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