Bob Willis absolutely tore into England for their performance vs New Zealand

Former England cricketer Bob WIllis in t

England's winter of discontent is threatening to turn into a spring of sorrow after their abysmal first innings against New Zealand.

Trevor Bayliss' side have won just four of their last 31 Tests on the road and barring something truly miraculous occurring, that record will continue after they found themselves all out for 58.

Trent Boult and Tim Southee ripped through the visitors' XI and for all the concerns about the pink ball, the match was all but done and dusted before the floodlights had even come on.

Apart from Craig Overton, who has rightly earned some plaudits for his late resistance with 33, Mark Stoneman was the only batsman to get into double figures with 11.

To be frank, the scorecard made disgraceful reading: Joe Root, Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow, Moeen Ali and Stuart Broad were all out for a duck.

If there's one thing an England performance like this is good for, it's some words of wisdom from Bob Willis.

The former fast-bowler took to Sky Sports' The Debate programme alongside Nasser Hussain to discuss what went wrong.

It's fair to say that if Root and co. were listening, they'll have wanted to switch off pretty quickly, because Willis had very few kind words for anyone other than Broad, who took his 400th Test wicket to put a very thin silver lining on the clouds gathering around the camp.

Willis tears England to shreds 

"Well, England have now proved beyond reasonable doubt in Bangladesh and India that they can't play spin. They've proved beyond reasonable doubt in Australia that they can't play pace so now they've proved beyond reasonable doubt in New Zealand that they can't play swing either," Willis said.

"Ducks, I've seen fewer on the Serpentine. There were so many rings on the scorecard we thought we were at the Olympic Games, five rings in total.

"And of course, they'd all been studying the Gary Ballance cricket manual of batting. Stand inside the popping crease with your bootlaces tied together, that's the way to play the swinging ball. Total embarrassment."

Either Willis has been taking tips from Gary Neville on how to totally disparage a team single-handedly, or he was genuinely disgusted with the display.

It's rare that an autopsy can begin so soon into a Test, but on the back of the 4-0 Ashes defeat, there are already questions being asked about the systematic problems that led to this latest performance.

New Zealand v England 1st Test: Day 1

Reflecting on the ECB's scheduling and administrative errors, Willis added:

"You mentioned preparation earlier, you can't go into a Test series, albeit only two Test matches long, with the preparation England had, what did they have two warm-up games, 14-a-side, you bat one day we'll bat the next day? You win a 14-a-side warm-up game, so what?!

"This isn't only a problem for England's first team, look what happened to the Lions in the West Indies, they lost their series there 3-0, admittedly on flat pitches, but I mean being bowled out by a spinner in the West Indies is pathetic.

"I think even I would have done better than some of those guys at the top of the order.

"Moeen Ali missing a full toss, Jonny Bairstow caught and bowled. Most of the others, clean bowled. Stokes and Root are meant to be two of our great players. Good players don't often get bowled out."

What's worrying is that even the most optimistic of England fans would find little they can disagree with in Willis' comments.

England's performance vs New Zealand? Discuss in the comments. 

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