Jose Mourinho's top 13 moments of s**thousery after he spies on Southampton tactics

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Jose Mourinho showed that he’s well and truly back during Tottenham Hotspur’s defeat to Southampton on Wednesday.

The Spurs coach was shown a yellow card by referee Mike Dean for approaching Southampton’s bench and taking a peak at their tactics.

And in his post-match interview, he delivered one of the all-time great Mourinho lines.

“The yellow card was fair, because I was rude,” Mourinho said.

“But I was rude to an idiot.”

Classic.

It wasn’t the first time that Mourinho has showcased immense levels of s**thousery and it won’t be the last.

We’ve picked out 13 occasions of Mourinho’s finest dirty work.

Sprinting down the touchline v Man Utd in 2004

The image of Mourinho sprinting down the touchline after Costinha’s late equaliser at Old Trafford sealed Porto’s place in the Champions League quarter-final remains iconic to this day.

It was our first glimpse of Mourinho on the big stage and the drama hasn’t slowed down once.

Running onto Camp Nou pitch

Mourinho’s Inter Milan knocked Guardiola and Barcelona out of the Champions League in 2010 and the Portuguese coach celebrated the win by running onto the pitch at Camp Nou with his arm aloft.

Barcelona goalkeeper Victor Valdes tried to get Mourinho to stop but he refused to do so.

It was another epic celebration.

Shushing Liverpool fans

Liverpool were 10 minutes away from winning the 2005 League Cup final against Chelsea until Steven Gerrard headed a Paulo Ferreira free-kick into his own net.

Mourinho celebrated the goal by turning towards the Liverpool supporters and shushing them.

He was ordered to the stands but had the last laugh, goals from Didier Drogba and Mateja Kezman in extra-time handing the Blues a 3-2 win and Mourinho’s first trophy in England.

Cupping his ear against Juventus

Man United weren’t given much chance when they travelled to Turin to face Juventus in the Champions League last season but Juan Mata’s late goal and Leonardo Bonucci’s own goal sealed a memorable 2-1 win.

And Mourinho was on the pitch at full-time cupping his ear towards the Juventus fans.

"In beautiful Italian, they insulted me for 90 minutes," he told BT Sport afterwards. "I didn't insult them.”

He certainly enjoyed getting payback.

Calling Arsene Wenger a voyeur

“I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people.

“There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.”

Mourinho later apologised for the comments he made about former Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger in 2005.

It was even reported that the Frenchman might sue Mourinho for his remarks.

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Poking Tito Vilanova in the eye

On August 17, 2011, we witnessed one of the ugliest El Clasicos in history.

Three players were sent off and Mourinho gouged the eye of Barcelona’s assistant Tito Vilanova in a brawl that escalated on the touchline.

The then-Real Madrid coach was banned for two matches following the incident.

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‘Respect, respect, respect’

Mourinho delivered an extraordinary press conference following Man United’s 3-0 defeat to Tottenham in 2018 in which he repeatedly called for ‘respect’.

At the end of his meeting with the media, Mourinho used the scoreline to bring attention to the number of league titles he’s won in England.

“Just to finish, do you know what was the result? This [holding three fingers up]. 3-0, 3-0. Do you know what this is? 3-0,” he said.

“But it also means three Premierships and I won more Premierships alone than the other 19 managers together.

“Three for me and two for them two. So respect man, respect, respect, respect.”

Poking fun at Benitez’s weight

In 2015, Rafa Benitez’s wife, Montserrat Seara, teased Mourinho by saying the Spaniard “tidies up [Mourinho’s] messes”, having coached at three of the Portuguese’s former clubs - Inter Milan, Chelsea and Real Madrid.

Mourinho hit back with a dig at Benitez’s weight.

“If she takes care of her husband’s diet she will have less time to speak about me,” he said.

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Mocking Ranieri’s ability to speak English

Mourinho launched a scathing attack on former Leicester City boss Claudio Ranieri in 2008, mocking his lack of trophy success and struggles learning English.

“He’s old and he hasn’t won anything," Mourinho said.

“I studied Italian five hours a day for many months to ensure I could communicate with the players, media and fans.

“Ranieri had been in England for five years and still struggled to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good afternoon.’”

Brutal.

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Three-finger salute

Mourinho goaded the Chelsea fans who once adored him when he returned to Stamford Bridge with Man United in October 2018.

The home crowed jeered him but he reacted by holding up three fingers, referencing the number of Premier League titles he won with the club.

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‘Guardiola is bald. He doesn’t enjoy football’

Mourinho and Guardiola have clashed over many things and in 2014, it was over the preferred length of grass on a football pitch.

“When you enjoy what you do, you don’t lose your hair, and Guardiola is bald. He doesn’t enjoy football,” Mourinho quipped.

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Saying he made "every decision" for Luke Shaw

Man United’s Luke Shaw was making his first appearance in weeks and played a role in their late equaliser in a 1-1 draw with Everton in 2017.

But there was to be no outright praise for the left-back at full-time, just more criticism.

“He [Shaw] had a good performance but it was his body with my brain,” Mourinho said.

“He was in front of me and I was making every decision for him.”

Just what Shaw wanted to hear from his manager…

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Time-wasting vs Liverpool in 2014

Chelsea’s 2-0 win against Liverpool in 2014 is most remembered for Steven Gerrard’s costly slip,

But a lesser-known story from the day is Mourinho’s time-wasting tactics.

The Blues’ boss devised a plan to run down the clock from the get-go.

Mark Schwarzer revealed all about the Special One’s tactics in an interview with the Independent in 2019.

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“I remember, for the very first goal-kick of the game, Jose had instructions for me and Branislav Ivanovic," Schwarzer said.

"He said to me, 'you go to the ball, and Brana, you go as far as you can to the touchline. Mark, set it up as if you're going to play it out at the back, then Brana, you put your hand up and say you'll take it. Be as far away as you possibly can and then casually walk over and take it.’

“That was the ploy, to slow it right down. Because they wanted the game to be high-tempo, wanted to catch the opposition out, wanted to bombard them, like they did all season very successfully.

“So the instruction was to play to the limit until the referee cautioned you.”

In the article, written by Miguel Delaney, it’s also claimed that Mourinho told his players he wanted at least two bookings for time-wasting before half-time.

Complaining about Newcastle’s cautious tactics

Mourinho didn’t take Chelsea’s defeat to Newcastle in 2014 well.

The Blues were beaten 2-1 at St James’ Park and Mourinho wasn’t happy with Newcastle’s cautious approach.

“You may as well put a cow in the middle of the pitch. And then stop the game because there was a cow,” he said.

“You cannot do just anything in football. You have to defend with your 10 men, put the 10 men on the goal line, park the bus, but football needs a ball. Not two or zero.

“Do what you can to win but not everything.

“Sometimes there were zero balls and that cuts the dynamic of the team who is trying to win the game."

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Mourinho's behaviour has got him into trouble on more than one occasion but the entertainment that he provides is unrivalled.

Since he burst onto the scene in 2004, he's delivered countless moments that have left us laughing or downright stunned.

Football is all about drama and without Mourinho, the past 16 years would have been a lot more dull.

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