Valentine's Day: All 20 Premier League managers' imaginary dating profiles


Ah, Valentine's Day.

It's the time of year where everybody either treats their partner to a romantic evening or spends the night at home basking in the single life. We tip our hats to either camp, we've all been there.

However, there's good news for people in the second camp in 2020 because the Premier League is returning from its inaugural winter break with Wolverhampton Wanderers vs Leicester City.

And here at GIVEMESPORT, that most tenuous of links really got us wondering and especially considering the current trend of comparing 'every Premier League X' to something amusing.

In this case, we've decided to embrace the spirit of love and hypothesis what each of the 20 Premier League managers' dating profiles would look like.

Every manager's dating profile

So, for a moment, just imagine that each of the coaches has entered in their details to - other dating apps are available - and the website has spat out a description of their love life.

Are we being deadly seriously? Absolutely not but, come on, don't pretend as though it's not funny to imagine. Check out our 20 profiles down below and make sure your partner doesn't see...

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Eddie Howe

The sort of guy that everybody fancies, only to realise he's just kind of nice.

Incredibly loyal, though, even if his love life is just about keeping things up.

Always the little spoon.

AFC Bournemouth v Brighton & Hove Albion - Premier League

Mikel Arteta

Intelligent daddy's boy looking for something long term.

Tends to steal the date ideas of his former boss, but is fiercely romantic and can talk the talk.

Will hand any potential partners a 50-page dossier on his plans for the relationship.

AFC Bournemouth v Arsenal FC - FA Cup Fourth Round

Dean Smith

Punching above his weight after moving through partners below his league.

On the frigid side, but still gets results to the shock of his colleagues.

Has his best mate Jack on speed-dial if a date starts to go downhill. It always works.

Aston Villa v Norwich City - Premier League

Graham Potter

Always drops the L bomb on the first date.

Falls in love likes there's no tomorrow and will feasibly come to your home with a soppy poem, bouquet of roses and two violinists.

No sex before marriage under any circumstances.

Brighton & Hove Albion v Watford FC - Premier League

Sean Dyche

Loyal to the bone. The type of guy to keep the hot, fiery love pounding for years on years despite a rundown flat and taking you to McDonalds for 'budgetary reasons.'

Plays the most intense heavy metal you can imagine when things get steamy in the bedroom.

Always asks the waiter for worms, to no avail.


Frank Lampard

The kind of guy you want to marry.

Intelligent beyond his years and the mastermind of brilliant dates on a limited budget.

An absolute player in his day, though, so be prepared to hear about his past escapades through others. Once had a mental night in Munich. 

Leicester City v Chelsea FC - Premier League

Roy Hodgson

Loves a quiet night in.

No kisses on the first date. A handhold if you're special. That's all.

Must like sitting six feet apart on the sofa with a cup of tea watching Strictly Come Dancing.

Crystal Palace v Sheffield United - Premier League

Carlo Ancelotti

The silver fox that everybody has a secret crush on.

Has been getting through partners more and more regularly after some nasty break ups, but always gets you sucked in with his stories and pictures of the glory days.

Once dated a Miss World; now settling for much less.

Watford FC v Everton FC - Premier League

Brendan Rodgers

After one thing and one thing only: great character.

All his exes talk badly about him, but they secretly had a really great time and the right-swipes are raining in more than ever.

You must get along with his mates Joe and Kolo if a relationship is going to work.


Jurgen Klopp

Passion. So much passion.

Tries to hype up the entire restaurant when a date is going well and screams 'mentality monsters' down the phone to his mate Jordan if he seals the deal.

Very steamy in the bedroom and isn't afraid to wildly knee slide off the mattress afterwards.


Pep Guardiola

Gets his way with money. 

Not enjoying the meal? Here comes the champagne. Conversation going poorly? Here's the keys to a Rolls Royce. Don't want to walk home? Here comes the limo-driving chauffeur. 

A love life waiting to be exposed when the wallet runs dry.


Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

Desperate. Like, really desperate.

Super needy and will do everything in his powers to please, but tends to plough on with long-term relationships that have long fallen apart. 

Great with kids.


Daniel Farke

First date? Spa day. Second date? Garden centre. Third date? Yoga class.

Incredibly spiritual, sends long poetic paragraphs over text and tags you in deep meaningful quotes on Facebook.

Lives for a good old cuddle.

Manchester United v Norwich City - Premier League

Steve Bruce

Very chivalrous and old-fashioned, even if that isn't really appreciated anymore.

Will take you out for dinner, but will probably eat your portion as well.

Could cheat on you with your sworn enemy 10 years down the line, mind.

Sheffield United v Newcastle United - Premier League

Chris Wilder

Will give you the best God damn relationship of your life without you even really knowing how.

Has dated people who are well below his league and is starting to attract attention with his smooth moves.

He'll only cook you up a plain risotto and accompany it with a glass of water, but it'll be the best risotto and water you've had in your life. A keeper.


Ralph Hasenhuttl

A secret romantic.

Let's his relationships fall to pieces, only to save things on the cusp of a break up with an injection of passion that you never knew he had.

Highly reliant on his best mate Danny as a wingman. 

Crystal Palace v Southampton FC - Premier League

Jose Mourinho

Incredibly charismatic on the first date, but becomes a right grump by the third.

The type of guy to get back with his ex and then date two of her housemates.

Ends every argument with: "I have nothing to say."

Bayern Muenchen v Tottenham Hotspur: Group B - UEFA Champions League

David Moyes

Not what he used to be.

Once one of the hottest prospects on the scene; now a former flame looking for any love he can get.

Regularly goes to the bedroom on the first date, only to be sacked for a poor performance that failed to meet past expectations with his long-term ex. 

West Ham United v Brighton & Hove Albion - Premier League

Nigel Pearson

Purely physical relationships only.

Gives motivational speeches at the dinner table, refuses to hug and goes outside to wrestle the local wolves.

Always gets the job done, though, even if he calls you an ostrich while doing so.

Aston Villa v Watford FC - Premier League

Nuno Espirito Santo

Mr Steal Your Girl. Whispers one thing in your ear and the windows immediately steam up.

Insists on every single date harking back to his Portuguese culture, but romantic results come in tandem and he always intimidates some of the long-standing hunks in the land.

Banned from Love Island for being a walking cheat code, in more ways than one.


If you're now feeling hot under the collar or wished you'd opened a private tab, my sincerest of apologies.

Of course, we don't genuinely believe that these managers - many of which are married - are up to the escapades that we've assigned to them, so take it with a pinch of humorous salt.

That being said, something seems so realistic about an argument in the Mourinho household ending with him saying: "three Premierships. Respect man, respect, respect, respect."

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