Park your brain cells at the door, ladies and gentlemen.
Jurgen Klopp has become a hero for Liverpool fans since arriving at the club in 2015, winning their first Champions League crown in 14 years and surely delivering their maiden Premier League title.
However, we’re pretty sure most Kopites haven’t considered getting down on one knee, whipping out an engagement ring and arranging to marry the bloke. We won’t judge if we’re wrong.
But clearly the love for Klopp has reached such a level that comedian Laura Lexx, who you may recognise from Live at the Apollo, couldn’t resist imagining walking down the isle for the German.
That’s because Klopp’s recent comments about coronavirus, insisting that football managers are no authority, got Laura thinking about how beautifully practical the Liverpool boss really is.
Marrying Jurgen Klopp???
As a result, she compiled a 27-tweet thread about her hypothetical married life with Klopp, which has gone viral with a whopping 40,800 ‘likes’ and 5,400 retweets at the time of writing.
It includes amusing scenarios where Laura would make comments to her German husband that you might expect from a wife, only to receive hilariously practical and unemotional responses.
From being told to stay on topic at IKEA, dishing out Transworld Sport DVDs and even having water breaks during, erm, more passionate moments of the marriage, it’s quite the spectacular read.
The Twitter thread in full
So, brace yourself and check out the full Twitter thread down below because, well, our words can’t quite do it justice.
We think the laughs were worth the reduced IQ… just.
You’ve got to applaud Laura for admitting her love for Klopp so publicly and we have no doubt that some of those scenarios would make her just as excited as she claims.
But it’s at this point in the article where we break the bad news.
Laura is going to have to park her fantasies about pillow talk with Klopp and remove those water bottles from the bedside table because the 52-year-old is happily married already.
Klopp wedded Ulla Sandrock, who was fondly christened the ‘First Lady of Bundesliga’ for regularly attending Borussia Dortmund games, in 2005 after meeting at Munich Oktoberfest.
We couldn’t possibly comment on whether Ulla has the experiences that Laura has fantasied about in her Twitter thread, mind…
- Jurgen Klopp’s statement about coronavirus
- The Premier League season has been suspended
- Arsenal confirm Arteta tested positive for COVID-19