Mike Tyson is a truly unique human being, isn't he?
The former world heavyweight champion has done enough living for six different lifetimes and yet he shows no signs of ever slowing down, let alone stopping.
Throughout his life, Tyson has found a plethora of unusual, jaw-dropping ways to live up to his reputation as the 'Baddest Man on the Planet', so much so that, limiting his moments of madness to just 10, proved to be quite a titanic undertaking.
While trawling through pages and pages of Tyson tyranny has definitely made me a worse human being and will certainly keep me up at night for weeks to come, the result is 10 of the most bizarre, eccentric, iconic moments that Iron Mike will always be remembered for.
10. The face tattoo
Mike Tyson just wouldn't be Mike Tyson without his iconic face tattoo. The tribal markings on his temple have become synonymous with his brand but, according to an interview he once conducted, it wasn't his first choice.
In fact, Tyson had wanted to cover his face in heart tattoos so he could become known as the 'Man of Hearts'.
Yes, we're being dead serious.
Fortunately, Tyson's tattoo artist managed to talk him out of getting a love-in tattooed onto his face and instead branded him with the far more apt and intimidating tribal markings.
9. The Lennox Lewis press conference
Tyson has always been a rather angry chap, hasn't he? At his press conference to end all press conferences with Lennox Lewis in 2002, Tyson showed just how angry he can get.
Right from the off there was absolute bedlam as Tyson made a bee-line for Lewis. A mass brawl then ensued and security spent a fair chunk of time desperately trying to separate the two.
Later, Tyson embarked on one of the most obscene, expletive-laden rants the world has ever had the displeasure of hearing when a member of the audience blurted out that he should be placed into a straightjacket.
We'll just let you enjoy the moment for yourself.
8. Developing a weed ranch
Tyson has certainly calmed down as the years have drifted by.
Of course, that could be something to do with the fact that he smokes copious amounts of marijuana on a daily basis. But who can be sure?
Now, the marijuana master is reportedly developing a massive, 418-acre cannabis-themed holiday resort in California which he describes as being a 'wonderland of weed'.
And, for those of you who were wondering, yes, it will come complete with the world's longest lazy river as well.
7. Wrestling a tiger
There a few right-minded people who would voluntarily come to blows with Tyson, however, in the animal kingdom, there are some species who still think they can get the better of him.
To be fair, if you are a rare, white Bengal tiger closed in a tennis court with the man, you're probably going to back your chances.
Unfortunately for the tiger, we'll have to call it a draw as Tyson, who was being filmed for an interview into his life, more than held his own with the mighty beast.
Of course, Tyson did own the tiger in question, so we can't help but feel there may have been some match-fixing involved.
You know, don't bite the hand that feeds you and all that.
6. Beating up Don King
That infamous Tyson temper flaring up again.
Tyson and King fell out with metronomic regularity but on this particular occasion, kicking Don in the head while he was driving Tyson down a Florida highway, might not have been the best idea.
Still, if you're looking for a comprehensive list of generally good ideas, then you are definitely in the wrong place.
5. Got a prison official pregnant while in jail
Of course he did.
Young Mike's love of 'fornicating' was unfortunately well documented and he wasn't about to let his rape conviction slow him down.
In fact, in his autobiography, Tyson claimed that he and the above-mentioned official were doing the nasty at least three times a day.
As far as we can tell, the pregnancy was terminated with Tyson later stating that she never had the baby.
4. Boxing a garbage man
Another peculiar Tyson quirk is his love of pigeons, developed from watching them on the streets at an early age.
So, when an unsuspecting garbage man tried to put Tyson's recently passed favourite bird in a trash compactor, it is no surprise that Iron Mike flattened him with a 'titanic right hand'.
To be fair to the unnamed trash man, he had no idea he was doing it and, when he woke up - probably several years later - he must have wondered what on earth had hit him.
3. Used a 'Whizzer' to pass drug tests
Tyson liked his drugs, that is no secret.
What is surprising though is the fact that he was able to pass so many drug tests despite very obviously being hopped up on just about every illegal substance under the sun.
So, how did he do it? Well, he used a fake penis, obviously.
Tyson used something called a 'Whizzer' which was a device that could be pre-loaded with urine - there's a sentence I never thought I'd write.
It worked a treat though as Tyson was able to maintain his boxing career, while simultaneously floating above the clouds at all times.
Good for you Mike.
2. Offered a zoo worker $10,000 to let him fight a gorilla
We would have paid good money to see this - just imagine the pay-per-view numbers.
Unfortunately, the zoo worker was an annoyingly sensible man and refused to let Tyson go toe-to-toe with the gigantic ape.
All in all, while it may have ended up being a fight for the ages, our money would still probably be on Tyson.
If he managed to land one of those massive right hands, that gorilla would've been endangered for an entirely different reason.
1. Biting off Evander Holyfield's ear
The holy grail of Mike madness.
In what was one of the most hotly anticipated fights of all time, Tyson let the occasion get to him as he went full carnivore, biting the top of Evander Holyfield's ear right off in one of the most shocking moments in sporting history.
At the time, Tyson was deducted two points before finally being disqualified for another cheeky nibble on his opponent later in the fight.
Tyson saw his boxing licence almost immediately revoked and was slapped with a stonking fine of $3 million.
There you have it.
There is no doubting that the world would be a boring place were Tyson not in it and we can only hope that he continues to entertain us with his wide array with his cracks and quirks for years to come.
Here's to you, Iron Mike! What a life you've lived.
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