COVID-19 took football, but it can't take FIFA from us - which leaves us here.
If you're reading this I'm assuming that, like me, you are desperately missing football and are looking for something to fill the void.
If that's the case I hope you'll join me in still being bitterly disappointed that FIFA hasn't introduced women's clubs or career mode yet, meaning we're stuck with a select number of international teams only.
In a bid to fill the void and find a slither of joy in this football-less world, I took to FIFA 20 to sim an alternate Women's World Cup and once again let technology decide the fate of the competition (I'm looking at you, VAR).
Let the virtual games begin...
Kicking us off in the group stages, drawn into their respective groups:
- United States
This random draw of groups is horrifying - I can't even look Group B in the eye.
Given that I'm writing this as it happens, I thought it's only natural I give predictions along the way to spice things up. I'm banking on Japan and Spain escaping Group A, I'd ideally like to see Norway and Sweden emerge from Group B but I think it will be the USA and France, and finally, Germany and the Netherlands coming out of Group C.
After one game: Rapinoe and White leading the line as top scorers right off the bat here, I feel like I'm rewatching France 2019 after all.
After two games: England beat 2-1 by Germany, destiny arrives whether it be at Wembley or on FIFA, England can't escape it.
After three games: Norway holding France to a 0-0 draw is about the most impressive thing they've done in this tournament - a poor showing from my favourite national team.
After a riveting group stage, we now have our quarter-finalists and fixtures too.
- Netherlands vs France
- United States vs Germany
- England vs Japan
- Australia vs Sweden
Though emerging from the group stages as the best of the rest, essentially, the second chances given to England and Sweden were shortlived as both bow-out in the last eight. The Netherlands and Germany were also sent packing.
- Netherlands 2-3 France
- United States 2-1 Germany
- England 1-2 Japan
- Australia 2-1 Sweden
After all their grit, hard work and determination we're finally down to the last four teams - and only one of them made it this far last summer. Without further ado...
- France vs United States
- Japan vs Australia
So. Many. Questions. Will France bottle it? Will the United States celebrate if they score more than the amount desired for comfortable viewing? Who expected a Japan vs Australia semi-final?
Enough chit-chat! Let's see what happens...
- France 1-3 United States
- Japan 1-2 Australia
It is with regret that I inform readers that France and being successful on the big stage started the social distancing trend.
After fighting their way through the group stages, seeing off opponents in the quarter-finals and succeeding in the semi-finals, we have our two finalists.
- United States vs Australia
And the winner is...
[insert suspense here]
[insert more suspense here]
[and a bit more]
[final bit of suspense]
[oh go on then, last bit]
The United States!
Who is surprised? Not me! I am truly sorry if you came into this with hopes of anything different. They can't be beaten even when it's computer simmed.
At least we can get rid of them when we have the Euros next ye- what do you mean it's going to be postponed until 2022? More computer tournaments it is.
FIFA if you're reading this, all we want is women's clubs and career mode, please.
Literally anyone, if you're reading this please stay at home.News Now - Sport News