One day, when all this is over, we'll be able to return to a pub quiz for real.
If you're anything like us, you'll know that the sports round is usually the highlight of these affairs.
It may be the only round in which you truly excel.
The moment when your hitherto pointless, anorak knowledge of the Premier League finally comes into its own.
In the meantime, there's no need to miss out on the chance to impress (or perhaps disturb) your friends and family with the facts and figures you've remembered from all those Sunday afternoons sat in front of Sky Sports.
To keep it short and sweet, we've assembled four rounds:
1. Premier League records
2. 'Who did it better?'
3. The 2019/20 season (excuse us a moment while we weep for its absence)
4. A good old-fashioned miscellaneous round.
Then, once you've finished, scroll down for the answers at the bottom of the page. Here we go.
Premier League records
In the history of the Premier League:
1. Which player has scored the most free-kicks?
2. Which team has scored the most goals in Premier League history?
3. Which player scored the fastest goal in Premier League history - and whose record did he break?
4. Which player has scored the most left-footed goals?
5. Three players share the dubious honour of receiving the most red cards (8) - who are they?
6. Ryan Giggs got the most assists with 162 - who was second?
7. Who has played more games than any other player?
8. Who scored the most goals at a single stadium? (It was their team's home ground, naturally...)
Who did it better?
9. Who scored more goals - Robin Van Persie or Harry Kane?
10. Who scored more - Dwight Yorke or Nicolas Anelka?
11. Who got more clean sheets - Edwin van der Sar or Peter Schmeichel?
12. Who got more assists - Wayne Rooney or Frank Lampard?
13. Who scored more goals LAST season? Eden Hazard or Raheem Sterling?
The 2019/20 season
14. Kevin De Bruyne is already on 16 assists this season - what's the most he's ever got in a Premier League season?
15. How many managers have lost their jobs in the 2019/20 Premier League season?
16. Who scored the first goal of the season?
17. Jamie Vardy is currently the Premier League's top scorer with 19 - but who's the next highest-scoring Englishman?
18. Combined, how many titles have the current 20 Premier League managers won?
19. Who are the only three defenders to win PFA Player of the Year?
20. Can you name the four coaches who have managed in the Premier League aged over 70?
21. Who is the only player to have won trophies with both Liverpool and Manchester United in the modern era?
22. Who's the only player to have won the Premier League, Champions League, FA Cup, UEFA Cup, and also been relegated from the top flight?
23. How many teams have been relegated from the Premier League and won a trophy the same season - who were they?
24. Who were the first team to stay up after being bottom of the table at Christmas?
25. Who scored the first ever Premier League goal?
26. Who was the first Brazilian to score 50 Premier League goals?
1. David Beckham has scored the most free-kicks: 18
2. Manchester United have scored more goals than any other team in Premier League history - 2033 goals.
3. The fastest ever Premier League goal was scored by Shane Long against Watford in just 7.69 seconds. He broke Ledley King's 19-year record of 10 seconds - though that was when goals were rounded up to the nearest second.
4. Robbie Fowler has scored the most left-footed goals: 105 (he also scored 30 with his right foot and 28 with his head).
5. Richard Dunne, Duncan Ferguson, Patrick Vieira have all been sent off eight times, more than anyone else.
6. Cesc Fabregas has the second-most assists with 111.
7. Gareth Barry has more Premier League appearances than any other player: 653.
8. Thierry Henry scored 114 times at Highbury - more than any other player at a single stadium.
9. Robin van Persie (144) scored more than Harry Kane (136).
10. Nicolas Anelka (125) scored more than Dwight Yorke (123).
11. Edwin van der Sar (132) got more clean sheets than Peter Schmeichel (128).
12. Wayne Rooney (103) got more assists than Frank Lampard (102).
13. Last season, Raheem Sterling (17) scored more than Eden Hazard (16).
14. Kevin De Bruyne's assist record in a Premier League season is 18.
15. Six managers have lost their job this season: Javi Gracia, Mauricio Pochettino, Unai Emery, Quique Sanchez Flores, Marco Silva, and Manuel Pellgrini.
16. The first goal of the season was actually an own goal, scored by Norwich's Grant Hanley against Liverpool at Anfield.
17. After Jamie Vardy, Danny Ings is the next highest-scoring Englishman with 15 goals.
18. Combined, the current Premier League managers have won the title six times: Pep Guardiola twice, Jose Mourinho three times, and Carlo Ancelotti once.
19. Paul McGrath, John Terry and Virgil van Dijk are the only defenders who have won PFA Player of the Year.
20. Sir Alex Ferguson, Sir Bobby Robson, Roy Hodgson and Neil Warnock all managed in the Premier League after their 70th birthday.
21. Michael Owen is the only player who has won silverware with Liverpool and United.
22. Nwankwo Kanu is the only man to have won the Premier League, Champions League, FA Cup, UEFA Cup, and also been relegated.
23. Wigan and Birmingham were both relegated in the same season as winning a domestic trophy.
24. West Bromwich Albion were the first team to stay up having been bottom at Christmas in the 2004/05 season.
25. Brian Deane of Sheffield United scored the first ever Premier League goal (vs Manchester United in 1992).
26. Liverpool's Roberto Firmino became the first Brazilian to hit a half-century of Premier League goals in 2019.
Easy? Let us know how you got on in the comments on our Facebook page.
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