There are good goals, there are great goals and then there are satisfying goals. Catch our drift?
We don’t mean last-minute winners that you were crossing every finger for, rather when a goal is just so aesthetically pleasing that you keep watching the replays over and over again.
They’re not necessarily the best strikes pound-for-pound, many Goal of the Season winners don’t fit the criteria, but they just happened to have rippled the net when all the variables were just right.
Numerous factors can make a goal more satisfying: the camera angles being used, the area of the goal it struck, the reaction of the player and even how miffed the goalkeeper looks.
It’s like when the ball cannons off the crossbar or a goalkeeper dramatically falls to the floor in dismay, it just makes the goal look better every single time.
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Most satisfying goals in history
So, if you’re finally on the same page as us, then you’ll like a game that’s unfolding on Twitter and it’s been started by @_CarltonCole9 in their quest to find the most aesthetically pleasing goals of all.
The fake Carlton Cole penned: “Here’s a question for you: What is the most aesthetically pleasing goal ever?” and then included a first example of his own, Samuel Umtiti vs Tottenham Hotspur.
But allow us to comb through the comments for ease’s sake, so keep scrolling for our personal favourites of the aesthetically pleasing goals that have been named in the thread.
Samuel Umtiti vs Tottenham Hotspur
First things first, the goal that the original tweeter put forward and their proclamation that ‘the first angle is just perfect’ couldn’t be more spot on. The fact it shows the top corner gaping as the ball comes flying into its arms is pure satisfaction.
Shinji Kagawa vs Norwich City
There’s also points for badassery in this thread and the fact Mark Bunn simply spins to his side as Kagawa rolls it into the net at 2mph makes you wish he was wearing sunglasses as he celebrated.
Theo Walcott vs Shakhtar Donetsk
Why on earth would he take it that early? We don’t know and we don’t care either, but by god does it make the finish look so nonchalant.
John McGinn vs Sheffield Wednesday
We don’t have any words for this one. McGinn’s volley from the heavens is one of those rare examples where the goal is objectively insane, but the replays of how it swerves and batters the crossbar makes it aesthetically pleasing too.
Jack Wilshere vs Norwich City
Seeing ‘Wengerball’ played to the most alien of standards was always easy on the eyes, never mind when Santi Cazorla, Olivier Giroud and Wilshere are entering the matrix with one of the greatest ever Premier League goals.
Benjamin Pavard vs Argentina
This World Cup beauty actually looked pretty underwhelming from the initial television angle, but the beauty of this goal was simply undeniable when it cut to the close-up behind Pavard. Poetry in motion.
Graham Dorrans vs Manchester City
Who remembers when Dorrans turned into Dennis Bergkamp for five seconds? To tell the truth, we didn’t either, but the accurate combination of touches makes this look video-game perfect.
Michael Essien vs Arsenal
Now this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you strike a football. We’re not sure we’ve ever seen a player get this type of swerve on a ball since and the way it perfectly bends inside the post at the last second is pure goosebumps.
Hugo Almeida vs Inter Milan
The noise, that god damn noise. The sound of the ball hitting the net is just better sometimes and the crackle of this remarkable free-kick landing in the top corner is pure, unadulterated satisfaction.
Andre Schurrle vs Burnley
This is all about Cesc Fabregas’ assist. The way the Spaniard wizard seems to let the ball just hit his boot and place it perfectly into Schurrle’s path is pure magic, never mind when it’s married to a first-time finish.
Paul Pogba vs Udinese
Again, angles are everything and the true physics-defying nature of this Pogba volley is seen from behind the player himself. It’s no surprise that this worldie goes viral time and time again.
Toni Kroos vs Rayo Vallecano
Goals that start outside of the post, only to curl inside at the last second are always eye candy and especially so when it’s long-range expert Kroos impudently doing so with a daisy-cutter. This goal, his first for Real, was like one big middle finger to the ‘keeper.
So, there are 12 examples from the Twitter thread and that’s barely scratching the surface but, fear not, you can click here to keep indulging in the footballing majesty.
Whether it’s the sheer swagger of the player, the television angle or even the sound of the net, the goals are irrationally satisfying are accepted amongst all football fans, it would seem.
Goals are as much the language of football as they are the currency. At least, that’s the way we’re rationalising it to ourselves.