There are few funnier sights in football than a goalkeeper scoring.
Many footballers are of the opinion that goalkeepers are playing a different sport entirely, so it’s always amusing to see them embarking on an expedition into the territory of an outfield player.
If we take English football, for example, only five ‘keepers have ever scored in the Premier League with Peter Schmeichel and Brad Friedel kicking things off by coming forward for late set-pieces.
The trio of Paul Robinson, Tim Howard and Asmir Begovic then joined the exclusive club by scoring from ambitious punts in their own defensive third that, well, were just meant to be long balls.
However, there are a select few goalkeepers that fancy themselves as an outfield player and have managed to rack up goals that aren’t down to sheer luck or last-minute confusion.
You could argue that Schmeichel is indeed one of them, having scored an impressive 10 goals in his career, but even ‘The Great Dane’ isn’t capable of competing with the most prolific ‘keepers of all.
Those freaks of nature that have exceeded double figures have been highlighted by talkSPORT this week as they’ve listed the 10-highest scoring goalkeepers in the history of the professional game.
From marauding forward for no discernible reason to scoring over 50 free-kicks, it’s fair to say the list makes for interesting reading, so check out the 10 goalkeepers that went rogue down below:
10. Fernando Patterson – 26 goals
Unless you’re an expert in Central American football, you’ve probably never heard of Patterson and his eye for an unlikely goal.
The Costa Rica international scored 13 times for Club Xelaju MC between 1999 and 2001 alone.
9. Dragan Pantelic – 26 goals
For starters, Pantelic managed to score twice for Yugoslavia despite racking up just 19 caps – but 15 of his strikes came with FK Radnički Niš, for whom he averaged more than a goal a season.
8. Misael Alfaro – 31 goals
Despite having his career cut short by a neck injury and heart problems, the El Salvador international makes his way on to the list for boasting an impressive record from penalties.
7. Hans-Jorg Butt – 32 goals
Butt is another goalkeeper who has penalties to thank for a bizarre goal-scoring record, although he was famously lobbed from the halfway line after scoring a spot kick against Schalke in 2004.
The four-cap Germany stopper also scored THREE times in the Champions League and each strike, weirdly, came against Juventus.
6. Marcio – 34 goals
The only player on the list who is still playing, Marcio could climb the rankings in years to come, but he’ll never beat his mind-blowing goal-scoring rate of a strike every 13 games for former side Atletico Goianiense.
5. Johnny Vegas Fernandez – 39 goals
No, not the comedian’s hispanic alter ego.
Vegas scored 30 goals from penalties and nine in open play across his career, mostly for Peruvian outfit Sport Boys, before crazily making 14 transfers in 13 years on his way to retirement.
4. Rene Higuita – 41 goals
The man famous for his ‘scorpion clearance’ against England, Higuita was also prolific in front of goal, randomly dribbling out of his own penalty area and spontaneously taking free-kicks.
It seems beggar belief, but Higuita managed to score three times for Colombia, the last of which coming against Venezuela at the 1989 Copa America.
3. Dimitar Ivankov – 42 goals
The final European on the list, Ivankov regularly featured on the scoresheet across nine years at Levski Sofia in Bulgaria and continued to pop up with goals after moving to Turkey in 2006.
2. Jose Luis Chilavert – 67 goals
What an iconic footballer.
Chilavert is the only goalkeeper to ever score a hat-trick, once found the net 23 times in just two seasons for Velez Sarsfield and scored three competitive goals against Argentina out of his eight strikes for Paraguay.
1. Rogerio Ceni – 131 goals
More. Than. Double. Second. Place.
Astonishingly, Ceni is within Sao Paulo’s ten highest-scoring players of all time despite his playing position, scoring 21 goals(!!!) in the 2005 season alone and once finding the net 37 times in a three-season spell.
But it’s not because Sao Paulo were somehow winning more penalties than other teams, it’s because Ceni was just so lethal from free-kicks, scoring from 61 across his career. Bonkers.
No matter how you dress up the wild world of football, the game will always come down to scoring goals and even those who are instructed to prevent them are capable of popping up with them.
South America seems to have a penchant for goal-scoring goalkeepers and we’re sad to see that trend petering out despite Ceni, Chilavert and Higuita’s legacies.
But if we all cross our fingers real hard, perhaps they’ll be a day where a Premier League shot-stopper is banging in free-kicks every other week. One can dream, hey?
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