Every gamer has done it. Getting in from work on a Friday evening, you decide to blow off meeting the lads/girls at the local. The wife/husband has gone off to Fabric on a bender and will be out of action for the rest of the weekend. It’s your chance. You draw the curtains and settle down for a few hours of intense ‘mage-ing’ in Skyrim.
All of a sudden, it’s Monday morning; your wife/husband is upset about the dishes in the sink and your general body odour. Your hands feel locked, brittle and reveal small circular indents on both index fingers from where you’ve been clinging onto your controller for dear life, dragon-slaying your heart out for 48 hours.
You feel bad and wish it was Friday again.
Well, now imagine that you did that every weekend for the next 10,000 years, because, besides all the damage such long weekends of gaming can do to your marriage, social life and complexion, a nightmarish vision of the future from casino review site SlotsWise and developers Cornelius Creative Ltd now speculate as to the damage you could be doing to the very physiology of your genetic descendants’ hands.
In a bizarre series of images, the experts at SlotWise and Cornelius Creative Ltd conjecture some kind of post-alien invasion, dystopian future in which our index and middle fingers will extend in a manner similar to that famed by E.T. in the hit Spielberg movie from the 1980s.
A by-product of evolution’s propensity to move towards functionality, these elongated fingers will supposedly allow gamers to more easily reach the buttons of the more complex controllers of the future, and, hopefully, bequeath us some manner by which we may finally scratch that insatiable itch between our shoulder blades (literally, the only reason my wife keeps me around).
SlotsWise/Cornelius Creative Ltd also speculates that the little finger and ring finger will shrink, making way for an elongated thumb that looks like something from a macabre Japanese Hentai movie.
The managing director of Cornelius Creative Simon Cornelius spoke to SlotsWise about the company’s nightmarish vision of hands in the future, stating: “Controllers, as they stand, are ergonomically designed. However, the increased immersive experience of some games require more buttons to play. An increase of buttons on the controllers means our fingers, specifically thumb, index and middle are doing more work and must stretch further.”
This idea of a future in which people have baguettes for fingers might seem far-fetched.
Evolution, is a scientific fact, however, and if humans do continue to stretch, cling, tap and bash away on their controllers, this kind of endgame for the modification of our hands is just about as likely as any other you might dream up.
Yes, with enough time evolution is capable of doing just about anything, or have you never seen a duck-billed platypus?