GMF's football Oscars

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While Hollywood was hosting its most glamorous night of the year, football was doing a not too shabby job of highlighting it’s own virtues as across Europe fans were treated to a feast of goals and action.


Tottenham’s unraveling in the north London derby looked was the highlight of the day as Gareth Bale put himself forward for the Best Actor award while later on Cardiff came within inches of scooping up the best film gong before they fluffed their lines in the penalty shootout.


With this season shaping up to be one of the best in living memory, who are the players that have stood out so far and what matches have earned their place in the football hall of fame? GMF presents it’s very own footballing Academy Awards.


Best Film – The fall of Fabio Capello


The subtleties and sub-plots of Fabio Capello’s resignation as England manager along with Harry Redknapp’s acquittal on a tax evasion charge means there is only one candidate for the best film award.


Playing out across two weeks and building to a timely crescendo, the plot-lines of the removal of the captaincy arm-band from John Terry and Redknapp’s court case intertwined wonderfully as the leading candidate for the Three Lions job battled through adversity towards salvation while Capello’s reign of terror came to an end.


Redknapp’s sterling performance in the witness box, where he spoke lovingly of his dog Rosie before accusing the prosecution of trying to intimidate him at him was priceless.


Best Line? Redknapp on the man who had named his bank account after his wife Rosie, meaning he had to name his account Rosie47 : ‘If she was as nice as Rosie they have got a good wife.’


Best Actor – Carlos Tevez


Tevez put in a wonderful performance as his role swung wildly from the man who had been wronged to the evil villain stealing from the wealthy benefactors at Manchester City.


His four moth exile was littered with barbs, olive branches from both sides, potential deadline day transfers and a fair few rounds of golf.


From his description of Manchester as a ‘boring’ city with only two restaurants to his hilarious attempt to blame the saga on Roberto Mancini being angry at Edin Dzeko before saying he had been treated like a ‘dog’ by the Italian, Tevez offered more sides to his story than most people care to remember.

His final apology as he returned to Manchester was both moving and sincere as his £250,000-per-week wages started to land in his account once more.


Best Director – Martin O’Neill


Andre Villas-Boas deserves honourable mention in this category if only for his impression of a cat on a hot tin roof while wearing a black mac, but Martin O’Neill takes the best director award.


All great directors get the best out of their cast and the former Aston Villa manager has done just that, with his best achievement probably making James McLean one of the leading actors in his ensemble piece where the previous incumbent of the directors chair at the Stadium of Light, Steve Bruce, deemed him worthy of only an extras role.


Best Supporting Actor – Joe Jordan


While others take the limelight in front of them there are those who are willing to let others have their time in the spotlight but shining in their own particular way.


The sight of (now ex) Coventry chairman Ken Dulieu sitting on the bench behind manager Andy Thorn earlier this season, visually undermining everything Thorn was trying to do was a treat, while Roman Abramovich’s appearance at Chelsea’s training ground just as rumours of Andre Villas-Boas being sacked reached their peak was a nice touch.


But Joe Jordan takes the biscuit. Last season his clash with Gennaro Gattuso went down well while just yesterday he was at it again, offering one Arsenal fan a scrap after the game during yesterday’s north London derby after he had said something untoward at him and Spurs boss Harry Redknapp.


Best Costume Design - Herve Renard


In a world of floor length sleeping bag jackets, dodgy tracksuits and larger gentlemen shoe-horned into ill-fitting suits, there was one man who not only won, but made winning looking damn good. That man is Herve Renard.


Perched against the dugout throughout the Africa Cup of Nations, any late comers to a game involving eventual tournament winners Zambia would have wondered if Renard had taken a wrong turn on his way to London Fashion Week.


Alas no, he was in the right place. Renard guided Zambia to an emotional victory in the ACN, whilst winning plaudits the world over not only for his tactical astuteness, but for his sartorial elegance and Hollywood looks.


Music (Original Score) - Liverpool fans


While many settled for the usual dreary chants and dull renditions of Depeche Mode and Joy Division in the last 12 months, there were a select few who dared to dream and take the tradition of the terrace chant to a new high.


Manchester United’s ‘Nani are you ok? are you ok Nani?’ to the tune of Michael Jackson’s smooth criminal raised a few chuckles, while Manchester City fans deserve credit for this little ditty about a certain Italian striker:


“Oooooooooo Balotelli, he's a striker, he's good at darts,

an allergy to grass but when he plays he’s f**king class, He drives around moss side with a wallet full of cash”


But the winner is….. Liverpool for their ingenious take on the theme tune to Heartbeat, with Maxi Rodriguez (‘Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez, run down the wing for me!’) the object of their affections. Bravo.

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