In these troubling times of economic chaos, natural disasters and the climate of fear caused by the threat of terrorism, there is one injustice that affects everyone all over the world, time-wasting ballboys.
Luckily Eden Hazard, a future hero of Stamford Bridge, is on our side ready to exact some vigilante justice on these menaces to society that have pensioners up and down the land afraid to leave their homes.
He isn’t the first footballer to contemplate wearing his underpants outside his shorts, though;
Cantona had been sent off against Crystal Palace for a petulant kick out at Richard Shaw and on his way off the pitch and down the tunnel was subjected to some rather choice words by Palace fan Matthew Simmons. Cantona flew into the crowd studs first, kicking Simmons in the chest and sparking madness inside Selhurst Park.
Cantona was handed a two-year prison sentence, later reduced to 120 hours community service, and banned from football for nine months leaving him to watch from the sidelines while his United side let the Premier League title slip away from them. Simmons meanwhile received a seven-day custodial sentence and had his season ticket rescinded for breaking ground rules.
At 5-0 down in a fierce midlands derby, Leicester’s Ian Walker must have thought his day couldn’t get any worse when along came Foxes fan Andrew Price to confront Walker privately. Walker didn’t react too kindly, shoving Price to the ground whilst stewards rushed on to escort him from the playing surface. Walker faced no action from the FA whilst Price was issued a life ban despite his apologies.
During a Dutch cup tie between Ajax and AZ Alkmaar, a drunken Ajax supporter ran on to the field to confront opposing ‘keeper Esteban Alvarado. The Costa Rican saw the supporter coming, aimed a kung-fu kick to his chest and landed a few more lusty blows whilst he lay pole-axed on the ground. The Alkmaar man saw red for attacking the fan, and his coach led the team off the pitch in protest. The game had to be abandoned with Ajax winning 1-0, Alvarado’s red card was over-turned and the match replayed with Alkmaar winning 3-2.
In January 2002, Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher was hit by a coin thrown from a member of the opposing Highbury crowd, with incensed Carragher retaliating by throwing the coin back into the crowd.
Carragher was sent off for the incident, but no further action was taken by the FA.
Imitation is allegedly the sincerest form of flattery and Drogba paid Carragher the biggest compliment by replicating his coin throwing antics during a Carling Cup tie against Burnley. Drogba was struck by a coin whilst celebrating his goal, hurling it straight back into the crowd.
The referee took no action on the pitch, but Drogba later received a three match ban from the FA.
Lee Croft was abusing ball-boys before it was cool; I believe he has a t-shirt to that effect. During Oldham’s trip to Sheffield United back in October last year, the former Manchester City player took offence to the ball-boys refusal to give him the ball, despite the fact it wasn’t his teams throw. A volley of abuse ensued and the ball-boy later accused Croft of racial abuse, an accusation that was later rescinded.
Hazard is far from alone in letting his temper getting the better of him and in a world filled with uncertainty it’s comforting to know you can rely on footballs very own league of justice.
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