The football season ended on May 18 and doesn't start again until the August 11. So, what exactly are we going to do during the 31 days between now and the most exciting day of every football fans' year - the first day of the season?
I've prepared a little guide of things you might like to have a go at in the intervening period.
1. Learn a language.
You can probably get pretty good if you practice continually for the whole off-season. Imagine commentating on your teams exploits next season in German or Spanish? No one else in the pub can do that.
2.Speak to your 'friends and family'.
Why? Well, you probably just should. That woman who sleeps next to you (if you aren't consigned to the sofa) deserves a conversation, or two, once in a while. Talk to her now whilst there's no football on TV.
3. Start your own homebrew beer project.
Everyone knows homebrew tastes like pretty vile, however it will take you approximately eight weeks (perfect!) and it gives you an awesome excuse to have a drink.
4.Hold your breath.
What? Well, hold your breath for one second. Easy? All you have to is do that another 2678400 times.
Actually don't do that, skip to number five instead.
5. Row up the Amazon.
Why? Why not, you should be asking. Aside from the crocodiles, man eating fish, water snakes, indigenous tribes, risk of starvation, drowning, dehydration and tropical diseases this a safe and fun way to spend several months.
All you need is eight weeks off work, £10,000, a near encyclopaedic knowledge of
everything mentioned above, an excellent life insurance policy. See you there, boys!
6. Watch Breaking Bad from start to finish.
Don't even ask me why. Just do it. Then send me a thankyou note once your finished. The last six episodes start on August 11, so if you start now the timing will be perfect.
7. Start an archeological dig in your garden.
We all really want to be Tony Robinson. Honestly. You might not realise it yet, but at some point in your life you will.
It hit me recently, and I won't lie - it's an uncomfortable realisation that takes a bit of getting used to. Embrace it. Go and hire a mini digger, and let the archeological carnage begin. Imagine how pleased your significant other will be when she's come home to find you sorting your new found treasures.
8. Watch some other live sport.
There's no football and unless you are suddenly going to start watching Eastenders and Coronation Street you need something on the telly box.
We've been quite lucky this year with the Confederations Cup, U21's European Championships, the British and Irish Lions successful tour of Australia, Wimbledon, and we've still got the mouthwatering prospect of the Ashes, the Tour de France, the Athletics World Championships, and the 142nd Golf Open Championship.
That's a pretty decent summer of sport however you look at it.
9. Play Football Manager 2013.
Why? Quite simply it's nearly as good as real football. Take over a club of your choice and take them to glory. Or run them into the ground, if you are that way inclined.
New game play is added this year and you can, amongst other things, now hold private chats with your players. Finally it's time for you to tell John Terry et al what you really think of them.
Play with any team from any major league in the world, in as much or as little detail as suits you, thanks to the addition of the 'FM Classic' mode and your summer will fly past.
As will your autumn and winter, and probably your girlfriend and job, but that stuff's not important, really.
10. Apologise to your girlfriend for numbers 3, 4, 6, 7, 8 and 9.
Obviously, drinking beer all day every day whilst playing Football Manager, watching Breaking Bad, making a home brew beer batch, planning a jaunt up the Amazon and taking aerial photos of the garden you just destroyed is every man's dream (whilst there's no football at least).
Truth be told this stuff is loads of fun and I implore you all to try all of the above - but look after your loved ones too, because life without them can be a scary place.
So there you have it. It hurts when the season ends, but like day follows night, eventually the football will re-emerge and the gloom is lifted.
Enjoy the summer and all it holds for you, and I'll see you in the boozer on the first day of the season.
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