With the curtains now closed on a dramatic Premier League season, Peter Crouch has dished out hypothetical awards to his favourite players and moments.
It’s that time of year. The league has officially come to its conclusion and the reviewing process will be in full swing for the next couple of weeks.
Everyone from football writers, to the clubs and fans have been deciding who are the most deserving recipients of their post-season awards.
And Per his column in the Daily Mail, Crouch has gotten in their early with his selections.
Check out his picks below.
Peter Crouch’s end of season awards 2021/2022
Player of the Season: Mohamed Salah
Kevin De Bruyne might have been the recipient of the official award but Crouchy, like many others, reckons Salah was the correct choice.
The Egyptian scored 23 goals on route to sharing the Golden Boot with Heung-Min Son whilst also topping the assist charts with 14 – a truly staggering return.
Young Player of the Season: Declan Rice
Rice has been mustard at the heart of the Hammers midfield all season and he’s rightfully been getting all the plaudits for his performances.
Crouch points to his transition from your traditional holding midfielder to a more dynamic box-to-box option as the key reason for his selection.
The England international is bound to have plenty of suitors this summer and West Ham’s main priority will be getting their star man tied down to a long term contract.
Unsung Hero: Connor Gallagher
Gallagher gets the shout as Crouchy’s unsung hero. Although, we think he’s got plenty of recognition throughout the season, especially with his England call up.
We think Joel Matip would have been an exceptional shout in this department, who, in fairness, Crouchy did include in his honourable mentions.
Mateo Kovacic and Anthony Gordon were also in contention for the award.
Player He’d Go for a Pint With: Declan Rice
That man again! We aren’t overly sure Rice would be keen on the idea though, given he’s never touched a drop of alcohol in his life – the consummate professional.
Crouch said in his column in the Daily Mail: “I’ve met him a couple of times. He’s a funny lad, good company and I like people who have a standing in the game but retain a humbleness with it.
“Declan hasn’t forgotten to smile. That’s the way I approached the game – we are lucky to be there – and Declan realises that. It comes across that way. His personality shines through.”
Best Dressed Manager: Scott Parker
Parker made a name for himself on the sidelines at Fulham as one of the sharpest dressed bosses about.
Tracksuits are out of the question when Parker is in town, only the most dapper designer brands will do and Crouch recognises that fact.
Now managing Bournemouth, we can look forward to seeing Parker back on the sidelines come the start of the Premier League in August.
Biggest Moaner: Jurgen Klopp
Uh oh, look away Liverpool fans. Crouch reckons the Liverpool boss takes the crown as the biggest whinge-bag in English football this season.
“Well, all of them whinge – especially the top managers. Jurgen Klopp probably just edges it.” Crouch said.
“The biggest characters are winners: Ferguson, Mourinho, Benitez were always like that. It’s always everybody else’s fault when they lose, none of them accept defeat well. I don’t think any of the current crop cover themselves in glory when they lose.
“And that’s because they are winners. It’s cracking TV, isn’t it? You hang on for their interviews.”
Best Live Performance: Harry Kane
Specifically, Kane vs Manchester City back in February.
Spurs secured an unlikely triumph as they beat City 3-2 and blew the title race wide open.
Kane scored two on the day, including a brilliant 95th minute winner against the team that he so desperately wanted to sign for just a few months earlier.
Best Heckle: Dulwich Hamlet
Dulwich who!? Dulwich Hamlet of the National League South, obviously…
Crouch was on the away terrace when the club visited Dorking Wanderers when he heard the Dulwich fans chant: “This is an area of outstanding natural beauty, I wanna go home!” Haha, class.
Funniest TV Moment: Making a fool of himself
Jake Humphrey asked Crouchy live on air if he could name the last person to score in a Champions League final.
Divock Origi, right? Well, Crouchy wasn’t listening properly and quickly blurted out “Me?”
You wish mate.
Best Pundit: Owen Hargreaves
There’s definitely some bias creeping in here given Crouch works for BT Sport on the Champions League and not Sky.
But, in fairness, we do agree with his proposition that Hargreaves is right up there.
The former Man United and Bayern Munich man does have exceptional knowledge when it comes to the European leagues and is a joy to watch.
Biggest Wind-Up Merchant: Aaron Ramsdale
Ramsdale recently appeared on ‘That Peter Crouch Podcast’ and so it was no surprise to read Crouchy’s reasoning for this selection.
He points to the moment Bruno Fernandes missed a penalty against the Arsenal keeper. Ramsdale then went full Martin Keown screaming and bouncing around in Fernandes’ face.
Proper s***house behaviour.
Tchouameni to Liverpool Deal Agreed (The Football Terrace):