Nearly all football fans love players that fall under the so-called ‘sh**house’ category.
Well, maybe love, maybe hate – they divide opinion, of that we’re absolutely certain.
In truth you’ll probably find that some players you love for their cheeky, sometimes downright outrageous antics.
Whilst with others, you might find their play-acting insufferable, or the way they wind up opponents a step too far.
Indeed, if you’ve been unfortunate enough to witness a prime mater of the dark acts inflict their ‘housery’ upon your own team, then that could be enough to turn you off the bloke for life.
It really can get that deep, we aren’t playing.
But who are the biggest sh**houses within the beautiful game right now?
We’ve named, who feel at least, to be the 11 finest.
The 11 biggest sh**houses in world football
The Liverpool and Barcelona legend is certainly in the swansong of his career now having made the switch back to the club where it all began, Nacional.
However, we all know too well of the Uruguayan’s antics that have marred his career.
Branislav Ivanovic and Giorgio Chiellini will attest to just how big a sh**house Suarez is – as will his dentist.
And let’s not forget the entire nation of Ghana, for whom Suarez ruined their World Cup dreams by turning full goalkeeper and palming the ball away from his own net before it could cross the line.
Sure, Suarez was sent off but Asamoah Gyan missed the penalty, Suarez celebrated on the sidelines and Uruguay won the penalty shoot-out. Ouch.
Another incredibly polarising former Premier League striker, Chelsea fans love Costa like a son.
If you support any other club, well, he’s the last person you wanted to see terrorising your centre-backs.
Countless supposedly ‘hard’ defenders fell victim to the industrious, no-nonsense Spaniard over the years.
And he just loved every second of it.
Maybe the greatest defender of his era, there was simply no department that Ramos fell short in when in his pomp.
Being an excellent sh**house was certainly no exception to that rule.
Working in perfect tandem with his partner in crime Pepe, the two Real Madrid centre-backs were a menace to any forward line they faced.
And we all know he deliberately did Mohamed Salah in the 2018 Champions League final, let’s all admit it now.
Whilst we’re on the subject then, why not discuss his partner for a brief second.
When it came to Pepe, you never really knew whether he was going to headbutt his opponent or swing himself to the floor feigning injury, but you knew something was sure to go down.
The Porto man seems to have settled down slight as he aged, however, in his prime, Pepe was probably the nastiest player of his era.
The Portuguese Vinnie Jones seems like a good nickname for him – even if they didn’t strictly play in the same position.
Ah, the man of the moment. We’re of course talking about the man who inspired this very article, for when Richarlison started doing keepie-uppies to mock the trailing Nottingham Forest players we couldn’t help but applaud his housery.
The man had only been on the pitch a matter of minutes, yet still had the audacity to take the royal mick in spectacular fashion.
He’s never far from controversy the Brazilian, and is certainly one to keep an eye on as the 2022/2023 Premier League season unfolds.
Richarlison showboating for no particular reason, Johnson beautifully hoofs him straight up in the air. Satisfying to watch.pic.twitter.com/5v2Cu4dJym— Parted Beard (@PartedBeard) August 28, 2022
From one maverick striker to another, then, although let’s be real and put some respect on Zlatan’s name for everything he’s achieved in his career – that’s where the similarities end.
The big Swede takes no prisoners when talking to the media and absolutely won’t suffer fools.
His arguments with Pep Guardiola are well documented, and he even had the cheek to drop the “I am a Ferrari amongst Fiats,” quote when discussing his role within the MLS.
To be fair, he wasn’t wrong.
The German centre-back isn’t as well known for his housery as some other members of this list, however don’t be fooled, he can be a real menace at times.
Whether it be steaming into challenges or partaking in a bit of argey-bargey with his opposite number, he must be a nightmare to play against.
His crowning moment, though, came when he took a nibble out of Paul Pogba at Euro 2020 in true Suarez-esque fashion.
You know of time we speak, England fans…
“It’s coming home,” was the chant on every Three Lions fan’s lips from when the group stage began, by the time England had reached the final, football fever had well and truly swept the nation.
England went 1-0 up within minutes at Wembley Stadium and the nation was convinced that their time had finally arrived.
Ronaldo to Chelsea ON✅ Zaha Advanced☑️100m Antony Deal! Arsenal STAY TOP! Haaland is WORLD CLASS! (The Football Terrace)
Italy had other ideas, though, winning on penalties and breaking English hearts.
After the final whistle, Bonucci approached the camera and bellowed “It’s coming Rome!” – talk about rubbing salt in the wounds, Leonardo…
Another Italian gladiator, Chiellini angered England fans when he blatantly tore back Bukayo Saka to stop him potentially adding a second to the home team’s early lead in the Euro final.
But in the game before that he’d already proven that he’d do anything to take home the trophy…
After Italy and Spain had slugged out a hard-fought draw, Chiellini could be seen playfully punching Spain captain Jordi Alba prior to the penalties, in what many feel was an attempt to gain a psychological edge.
Check out the incident below…
Martinez proved he was an exceptional goalkeeper and a master of the mind games when, in the Copa America, he psychologically destroyed Yerry Mina before the Colombian could take his spot-kick.
The Argentine could be heard bellowing “I’m going to eat you up” to Mina and letting him know where the penalty was going.
He duly went the correct way and saved the attempt.
Great mind games from Emi Martinez 🇦🇷 pic.twitter.com/pACn2Bto30— Photos of Football (@photosofootball) July 7, 2021
Vardy scores against Wolves, you know what’s coming next… the pacey Englishman sprinting towards the opposition support and howling as loud as possible until the hairs on the back of their necks stand on end.
That’s the kind of housery Vardy adores partaking in. He’s not necessarily one for the nasty tackles or running his mouth, he does his talking on the pitch, but when the opportunity presents itself, he never hesitates.
And that, ladies and gentleman, is to be respected.
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